well distracted

I’m drawing the moth today — preparations for a painting that’s in the works.  But my thoughts keep returning to this landscape painting above that I began perhaps two years ago and which I return to from time to time — and which I need to finish fairly soon.

It will have a lattice across the middle to represent the chain link fence. At long last it will have many other minor additions of dot or color.

Something about drawing the veins of the leaves reminds me of the small passages of the garden painting and of the ways that I seem to re-enter the garden whenever I work on it — as though the flowers were still there, as though the blueberries were still being prepared for planting, as though time were standing still back one morning years ago and the shaded leaves still bent under the weight of the dew.

One seems to have a sense of the future, but you can’t really know what the future will be.  The future one imagines is not the future that arrives.  And the past that you relive is not the same as the past that occurred.  The present — even the present shifts — even as you live inside it.

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