OK so I’m useless at taking selfies – I managed to cut my head off this one!
I’ve joined the gym. I needed to get fit, turn some fat into muscle and turn my life around.
The pursuit of endorphins is now a daily routine and I like it. At my age (just turned 54) you need to look after yourself – I’d been drinking too much plonk and smoking far too many fags. I can’t claim I’ve gone cold turkey (this is a bad idea) but I can claim I’ve vastly reduced my intake to about four bottles a day and thirty fags. I’m joking of course, it’s slightly less than that.
Gym etiquette has always intrigued me – there’s barely any eye-contact, just the occasional polite exchange when someone’s waiting for a particular apparatus, or the odd glance at other people’s bodies to see how you compare. This suits me – I’m not there to make friends I just want to quietly get on with my regime while trying not to fart volubly or follow through on tackling the heavy weights.
But there is a serious point to all this because earlier this month I had an epiphany, where I decided this was going to be an important year, make or break, put up or shut up, the triumph of feast over famine. I’ve made a number of positive moves in that regard, the gym being one of them. If I’m lucky enough to get a dream job interview I want to turn up looking good, and if I want to show at the school reunion I want my peers to see that thirty-eight years since school haven’t treated me so badly, and twelve months of living on a van and freezing my tits off haven’t taken their toll. And most importantly of all, the release of endorphins is a great way of combating depression and I’m already feeling the benefit. So yes it’s a personal crusade on many levels.
While I say living on a van hadn’t done me too much harm (in fact I look back on that as a brave and story-rich achievement) I can’t deny I’d been suffering a fair bit of back-pain… that was until I recently discovered Bowen Therapy, for which I wrote the following testimonial:
Remember the time your teacher came up close to explain how to solve a puzzle or whatever? And you began to understand and you began to relax, so much so that you felt a nice tingling sensation from this intimacy, a pleasant coldness yet a welcome warmth too? Well, that soothing and non-erotic sensation is like Bowen Therapy, only this helps to solve the puzzle or pain in your body. I’m not satisfied it’s the best description but it’s certainly how I felt after receiving my first Bowen Treatment. Like the release of endorphins after a good work-out, Bowen has its own magic and I’d truly recommend it – there’s no pain, no agonising twisting of joints, just a delicate and minimal touch that works wonders. It’s incredible and I couldn’t speak more highly. So, the six-pack is there, the old back’s sorted and I’m feeling very positive about my year ahead. I’m fit and well, feeling twenty years younger, magicking the dog away, in control of my muscles and no longer scared that every time I bend over I’m going to leak a tiny bit of wee that puts an uncomfortable badge on my undies. It wasn’t on a whim that I joined the gym – I had to put some magic in my life. It’s all changed – while once I couldn’t walk past a pub, now I can’t walk past a mirror! Advertisements Share this:
