How the addiction began
I sat on my bathroom floor that Wednesday
people were especially mean that week
I needed to breathe.
But instead I came home to another fight and I couldn’t fathom it
My tears drowned my face
I felt worthless, hopeless
I traced my throat with the beautiful silver blade
imagining what kind of necklace they’d have to put on me to cover up the scars at my funeral
The carotid artery pulsated under my hand
A strange calmness over came me, I focused more and more on this final escape
On freedom from this cruel world
The I looked in the mirror and saw my brothers face in mine
My phone buzzed with my best friends checking in on me
In that moment my love for them outweighed the hate for myself
And as I raised the razor to my throat in one swift motion I took it to my hand instead.
In that moment I felt something besides the emotional pain
I felt release
I felt good
I knew that with this new release
Maybe I could last a little longer on this earth
I don’t own this art nor do I know the artist. I just appreciate the art.
PSA SELF HARM IS AN ADDICTION I REGRET STARTING I AM 5 WEEKS CLEAN AND BY NO MEANS IS THIS A HEALTHY ESCAPE. PLEASE DONT HURT YOURSELF.
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