Joseph Conrad Chance once said “Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealings with men.”
Since I began being conscious of my surroundings, I realized that females have been marginalized or suppressed over the years as compared to males. Over the years, they’ve been subjected to some dehumanizing treatments. From women being stoned in Biblical times for committing adultery to girls being given up for marriage at a very tender age in some African cultures. I was also informed about how when formal education was introduced in Africa, it was only the preserve of boys while the girl child was alienated to the kitchen to learn how to cook in preparation for marriage.
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How can I forget the Ritual Servitude popularly known as “trokosi” where traditional religious shrines in the Volta Region of Ghana used to take young virgin girls in payment for services or in religious atonement for alleged misdeeds of a family member.
Fortunately, the female has been able to overcome these hurdles and is now rubbing shoulders with the male which is an attestation to the popular saying that “what a man can do, a woman can do better”. One would have thought that the female after surmounting all these hurdles would be given a standing ovation. Unfortunately, this seems to be far-fetched. Respite seems to elude them anytime they make a major breakthrough.
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Another obstacle that reared its ugly head in the 21st century and stares almost every ambitious female in the face is “the glass ceiling”. A glass ceiling is basically an intangible barrier within a hierarchy that prevents women or minorities from obtaining upper-level positions of the corporate ladder. Interestingly, most of these barriers are machinations by society with men being the driving force.
There’s a trend which men are perpetuating against young girls that I fear a time coming where these young girls won’t be able to see or even aspire to reach the glass ceiling not to talk of even breaking it. I don’t know how it’s called but it’s basically a batter trade whereby girls are forced by men to trade sex to get what they deserve or what they need.
A friend of mine whose mum happens to be the breadwinner of their family lost her mum. After the burial of her mum, I was wondering how she’d cater for herself since her mother was all she had and she just entered the University. I decided to give her some money after which we struck a close camaraderie. She then confided in me and told me about how difficult life has become since the demise of her mum. I inquired about how she was able to organize the burial of her mum and fend for herself afterward and she revealed that a man did a good Samaritan’s job by coming to her rescue. I was about to say “God bless him” when she said the man wants to cater for her schooling on condition that he sleeps with her and marry her afterward. She’s not willing to oblige so the man has withdrawn his help and left her to her fate.
I felt sad after hearing her story and I asked myself; where have some men hidden their humanity? Can’t a grown man have pity on a poor girl without trying to go in between her thighs? From that day, I vowed not to judge any girl when it comes to having amorous relationships with elderly men. I’ve come to understand that, its circumstances beyond the control of some of these girls that leave them with no choice than to fall prey to these men.
Another female friend of mine who aspires to work in the media industry informed me some time ago that she had secured an internship in a media house. She later asked me to help her with a task given to her. Upon seeing the task, I was befuddled because it’s not something that should be given to an intern during her first stint on the job. Curious as I can be, I queried her and she opened up about how her supervisor who happens to be a man has been making sexual advances at her. She narrated how most of the conversations he has with them is centered on sex. To make matters work, they were put on a program that starts at 11:00 pm which requires them to sleep over at work sometimes.
I was so incensed to the extent that I told her to quit but indefatigable as she is, she didn’t listen. Her excuse was “if I quit now, when would I get another opportunity? This might be my only chance to make my big break into mainstream media”. She quit when she couldn’t take it any longer.
To make matters worse, she was nearly raped when she moved to another establishment to undertake her internship. For her safety, she had to stay home for the rest of the vacation.
I keep hearing similar stories as the days go by. Girls going for job interviews and being promised employment on condition that they sleep with their employer who happens to be a man. Girls being failed in exams by lecturers because they refused to sleep with them.Why can’t a girl be appreciated for her potential and not what lies in between her thighs? Is it their fault they were created with vaginas? For Christ sake, they are the bone of our bone and flesh or our flesh just like how Adam saw Eve. Why can’t men see them as such? Is it not the same Adam that all these men descend from? What changed? We’re living in an era where a poor girl can’t get help from a man without being taken advantage of.
You’d hardly hear of guys going through this ordeal. I fear a time would come when a young girl can’t have high aspirations for fear of being taken advantage of by an influential man up there.
In as much as we expect this incorrigible practice to stop, I believe women who have seen it all also have a role to play. They should open their doors to these young girls just as the men also open their doors to them. I see a lot of men drive expensive cars daily and so do women too. If a rich man can stop by an innocent girl on the street in the name of offering help only to take advantage of her, why can’t a rich woman do same genuinely? What prevents them from doing that?
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Our churches also have a role to play. Church leaders shouldn’t only lump all these youths including some of these girls in a church auditorium and drum sexual purity sermons into their ears. They should go beyond this and inquire from these girls the challenges confronting them in this regard. Some of the men who perpetrate such atrocities are big financiers in the church. The church should also help some of the girls in need so they don’t become vulnerable to these sexual predators.
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