there’s a season for everything
and a time for every matter under the heavens:
a time for giving birth and a time for dying,
a time for planting and a time for uprooting what was planted,
a time for killing and a time for healing,
a time for tearing down and a time for building up,
a time for crying and a time for laughing,
a time for mourning and a time for dancing,
a time for throwing stones and a time for gathering stones,
a time for embracing and a time for avoiding embraces,
a time for searching and a time for losing,
a time for keeping and a time for throwing away,
a time for tearing and a time for repairing,
a time for keeping silent and a time for speaking,
a time for loving and a time for hating,
a time for war and a time for peace. -ecclesiastes 3:1-8
i find so much peace in the Lord’s word. the seasons of life are there to teach us about the good times and the bad times and to teach us that HE > i. without Him i am nothing, will be nothing, and have been nothing. He alone knows the plans He has for me.
this was the verse i chose for my daily devotional. each day i open to a random page in my bible and pick a verse. but how wonderful is He that He always tells us what we need to hear?!
i’m in such a weird stage of life. i want to party, have fun, get drunk, live life, but also want to graduate college, settle down, start my career (lol @ med school, intern year, residency, fellowship bc that won’t happen for a while, but you get the idea) and have babies.
getting out of a long term relationship is hard. you lose so much of yourself and don’t know where to turn. you have to figure out who you are and who you’re meant to be, but most importantly who HE wants you to be, crazy isn’t it how He already has plans for our lives?
but this verse got me thinking, God’s timing is ALWAYS perfect. with God’s plan there’s no such thing as “right person, wrong time” or a “bad timing” because HE already knows what is to come. we tell ourselves these things to make us feel better about something not working out, but instead we should REJOICE for the Lord has plans for us that far exceed any plans we could make for ourselves.
“I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the LORD;
they are plans for peace, not disaster, to give you a future” – Jeremiah 29:11
which leads back to M.
M was sweet. he was always ready to listen about the drama between me and Z during the stages after breakup (Z is an asshole and literally started rumors about me at the bar, are we in middle school? i don’t have time for his games). M listened to me vent, it was amazing.
things were good between us in the beginning, peep some cute screenshots, don’t judge me because i can’t flirt, y’all get the idea.
like that’s cute right? a boy telling you to save him a seat in church is literally goals (for me at least). a boy sending you sweet texts thanking you for just being yourself, that is literally unheard of now a days. i was on cloud nine the last three weeks talking to this boy. we were able to carry on conversations and actually learn about one another, and it was never forced. it was my dream come true, but if all my dreams came true i’d have at least four ponies, six pigs, a dozen dogs, a bank account with more zeros than i can count, and cancer would be a thing of the past.
if i had my way, things would be different, but because life doesn’t happen how we want, you guessed it, this boy turned out to be too good to be true. he started dropping hints that things were going no where but i gave him the benefit of the doubt, that he was just nervous or whatever.
trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight -Proverbs 3:5-6
like i swear this boy used God as a cop out instead of just saying he didn’t want to be with me. at no time did i ever try to push him into a relationship, he brought it up. he said he wanted a relationship with me since the summer (hair flip because i’m fabulous). he came over my house we watch movies, make out, says he’s going home for dinner and would come back if it’s too late, he doesn’t say anything, so i go to bed. then we had a retreat for our org and he avoided talking to me (granted i did tell him that i like to separate work and play because i’m trying to be professional, you know conflict of interest and stuff) and then he drops this on me? uses God to friend zone me LOL.
in no way am i saying that walking with the Lord is not important. i make the big man a priority in my life every day and make every decision with Him in mind because that’s how i was raised. BUT i was also raised to speak my mind and to mean what i say and say what i mean, and i whole heartedly don’t believe that his walk with Christ was the reason he was ending things (even though we both said we don’t want to end things, they’re over). WE LITERALLY GO TO THE SAME CHURCH AND FELLOWSHIP GROUP and in no way would i ever discourage him furthering his relationship with God, but dang he could’ve just been straight up with me. he’s waiting for God to send him a sign BUT HELLO HERE I AM.
to me this all felt like a story my preacher said a few weeks back: a man was drowning in the middle of the ocean, a boat came up and said “get on” the man said “no, the Lord will save me” and the boat drove off. a second boat came to the man and said “get on” again the man said “no, the Lord will save me” and the boat drove off. a third boat came to the man and said “get on” and again the man said “no, the Lord will save me.” the man drowned and met God at the gates of heaven, he asked God why He did not save him and God said “I sent you three boats, why did you not take my help.”
SO moral of the story, getting back on topic: there is no missed opportunities if you welcome the Lord into your life. He has everything planned for you, you need to accept his word and accept the things and people He gives you. not being conceited, but i feel like M has been missing God’s signs (me lol) and soon he will run out of opportunities from the Lord. like i don’t understand why he can’t glorify God while dating me? it’s not like i’m a mass murderer or trying to steal his virtue or anything, like i’m just trying to car pool to church, ya feel?
but it’s cool, it’s whatever. God has a plan for me and he is teaching me a lesson. there is no missed opportunities with God, there is no “right person, wrong time” because He is intentional and sends people at the perfect time, it’s up to us.
that is my daily preaching.
xoxo
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