I remember a small conversation I had with someone at work.
“Oh you play Video game? What kind of game?”
“It’s grand theft auto”
“Oh wow..”
And there’s not much to say or continue. I wonder if it’s because first, less number girls play game and second thing, if they play game , it would be farming stimulator, candy crush, something less explosive , none- violence type.
I began to question if I’m prone to violence as I’m ok with putting a sniper scope on someone’s head with no remorse.
As I remember, I always liked to play video games. I was Super Mario hopping over lava. I was that And I hit the giant centipedes with spears on a first person. I was a samurai who forced Demon. I headshot the rotten walkers. Then , I developed to favorite more action game like grand theft auto. I played it when it’s launched a few years later. So I was new in the online lobby.
Had to withstand the cyber bullies
What’s it like when your avatar’s got smashed by some immature gamers / man kid’s bullet. My hands were wet. My heartbeats were racing. My mind wanted to revenge. But,I didn’t have super skills (yet). So I let them beat my avatar over and over.
Acted like a GTA woman they expected you to be and revealed your avatar as a woman has its perk even it seems cheap.
Being treated like stereotypical GTA girl character
There’s less chance to meet female players. People kept asking me if I was a real girl. If I replied, they would add me. They would pick me up and drove me somewhere and put a shotgun in me ( like people in the game normally do when they hook up with women from strip club. They would get run over and dropped the money on the street. Sometimes, I tricked them to pour money rain on me. Acted like a GTA woman they expected you to be and revealed your avatar as a woman has its perk even it seems cheap.
After getting used to it, I guess I’m immune to those bullies and being irrationally and randomly killed
My avatar ran faster, stronger and excellent at aiming.Gangster became my ranking status. I met a few cool skilled player that invited me to play advanced heist with them. I met a cool female gamer acted like Bonnie and Clyde with her boyfriend. She wore red corset with a Santa hat during Christmas where the road in the Open World was all white and snowy.
I explored new sceneries in Los Santos as if i was travelling to the States. For someone from Asia, it was thrilling drive pass the China town, the city, the hood, the sandy beach at day time ,the outskirt of the town where I could see cactus , sand and hyenas at night. I admitted it was a great escape.
I purchased tons of fashionable clothes. It was fun to wear cool beautiful stuff that most of people couldn’t afford all of them.
I considered myself a kind hearted person from a warm family. I wouldn’t harm beings. But I still like the thrill and live action in the open world.
“Emotional outlet”, maybe might be the best term to describe why I as a female play it and why we play games and it doesn’t make you become violent. I’d rather call it the platform where you dive into your imagination and creativity.
When I got bulled from out of where, I just mark that player, climb the ladder on a high building and throwing the time grenade on the road and set RPG on my nemesis’s tank.
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