Exercise Addiction.

Guess who just got their wisdom tooth taken out? I am writing this while tucked up in bed, trying to distract myself from the aching pain coming from my jaw. Funny how an hour ago I was thinking to myself how this isn’t that bad at all. Until the anaesthetic wore off…

What does this have to do with the topic of this post, you may ask. Well, as you may or may not know, you’re not supposed to exercise within the first week or so of getting your wisdom teeth removed. A year ago, I would’ve freaked out and would probably get extremely anxious over not being able to do my usual workouts. What a first world problem right? Today, I am fully embracing the fact that I have an excuse to stay in bed all day watching movies.

Back then, I would force myself to go to the gym no matter what. Even if I was on holiday with my family, I would make sure there is a fitness suite at the hotel and wake up extra early to get my workout in. Did I enjoy it? Not all the time. Why did I do it then? I’m not sure, I guess the thought of missing a workout terrified me so much that I never let it happen. My old habits may seem healthy to others, but deep down even I knew that it wasn’t healthy at all. I was just too scared to change.

Now I’ve learnt to listen to my body. If I’m feeling tired and sore, I can now let myself take it easy without feeling guilty about it. Instead of thinking I have to exercise extra hard to burn off the food that I’ve overindulged on over the holidays, I just keep doing what I would normally do. I guess once you get to a point where you are at peace with yourself, everything that you do comes from a place of  love and care. I eat well and exercise moderately because it makes me feel good, because I love myself. Not because I’m trying to look a certain way or fit into a certain mould. I’ve over that.

I am extremely grateful that I’ve come this far. It may not have been in the way that I had hoped, but here I am alive today and what a miracle that is within of itself. For those out there who struggle with exercise addiction like I used to, taking a day off from your usual routine won’t kill you. You won’t lose all your progress. You most definitely won’t blow up into the size of a beluga whale. In fact, sometimes less really is more. Your body will thank you for allowing it to rest. I shall leave you with a quote.

“I treat myself like I would my daughter. I brush her hair, wash her laundry, tuck her in goodnight. Most importantly, I feed her. I do not punish her. I do not berate her, leave tears staining her face. I do not leave her alone. I know she deserves more. I know I deserve more.”
― Michelle K.

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