Fashion: Is it just me?

I am not the trendiest person in the whole world and often end up accidentally looking quite hipster.  As I’ve gotten older I have become a comfort over style person.

I thought before unpacking all my old smaller clothing from Mum’s attic, that I might have a look at some new things on Boohoo.com and see if I could treat myself to something I could aim to getting in to.  However, a quick glance on the site has left me with a few questions… mainly, what!?

When I was more fashion aware, I thought it was risque wearing any form of dress or top with mesh in it.  It was around the time that Cheryl Cole (yes, that’s as she was back then) was having her first success as a judge on X Factor.  She wore a dress with mesh inserts and I thought she looked amazing.  I sat on my Nan’s sofa and began hunting around for a similar outfit which I did eventually find.  I think I wore it about… twice?  Once was with my ex-boyfriend when we went clubbing;  I got onto the bus and was immediately met by two girls sat in the disabled/elderly seats rolling their eyes.  Fuck them, I thought, they’re jealous.  The other time was a friend’s birthday party and I wore it with pride.  Drunkenly announcing (and lying) that it was the same as what Cheryl had previously worn – foolish really, given that the outfit had caused a bit of a rush and there were now cheap mock-ups available at just about every cheap clothing store there was.  You know, the type that always has the ‘I *heart* London’ t-shirts and a load of mini black cab models.

Well, I’m not going to be adorning that dress again any time soon.  I don’t think I’ll ever wear anything like that again.  I was twenty and full of hope.  But as soon as I logged on, I was amazed.  Did I miss something?  I don’t go up town that often and I can’t remember when I went for a spontaneous night out but surely – surely – people haven’t started wearing mesh cycling shorts?

Mesh.  Cycling.  Shorts.

Is there anyone who could pull this off?  I mean really?  If someone was to present these shorts to me as a gift I would have genuinely no idea when they would see me wear them.  I’m guessing they’re not for cycling either.  But is it something you might wear to a picnic on a hot day, or would you present with them to a VIP section at a trendy nightclub?  Maybe it’s me.  It’s probably me.  But I just really want to know their intended wear.

Of course I wasn’t the only one wearing awkwardly skimpy outfits.  I knew a girl who for want of a better term was a bit, err, loose.  This in turn gave her a bit of a reputation which gained her popularity but for all the wrong reasons.  This popularity gave her a rather inflated ego which led eventually to her twenty-first birthday outfit which is seared into my mind.

Some of us will remember a song that Britney Spears did quite a few years back called Toxic, yes?  Of course.  It had a pretty memorable video in which Britney moves around some kind of silver backdrop with what appears to be diamonds over the necessary areas.  My friend used this very image to base her birthday outfit upon.  It’s not so much that she did it, but that it just looked absolutely ridiculous.  I live in a place where it’s embraced to dress a bit differently but this was a step too far.  It looked tacky and I don’t think some places would even let her in.  We weren’t even sure if she could technically walk around the streets like it.  People were shouting things and making jokes and the whole thing felt like an unnecessary.  I guess there is a time and a place for such attire but Brighton high street isn’t one of them.

Like I said, I’m no guru.  Alas, a couple of years ago I dressed “double denim” thinking that it was a fashion again.  It’s not.

You’re going to have to make a choice, jeans or denim jacket.

Sx