Look at this person literally checking off an empty checklist. Faker.
Amidst the extreme drama of my housekeeping work, I have discovered a few tricks in another area of adulting that have been really effective for me. When it comes to periodic adulting tasks like paying bills (especially irregular bills, like my HOA dues that come up once a year and that I always lose the actual bill for) and car maintenance, I do best when I just take care of all the things as soon as I can. I get paid monthly, so I pay all my bills within the first five days of the month, with the exception of one that has to get paid between the 15th and the 25th, but I know which one that is and I know the amount I put on it. These past few months I have made myself shell out for the things I don’t want to spend money on but that I know I have to spend money on, like oil changes and the aforementioned homeowner’s dues (I’m pretty sure I could get someone to mow the ditch in front of my house once a month for less than what I pay BUT I DIGRESS…), right at the beginning of the month, too.
I have found that there is a sort of moment of truth with decisions like that. I am standing at a crossroads, and the time has come to make a decision. If I don’t make a decision, I’m not actually avoiding the expense — I’m just guaranteeing that I will be more stressed and rushed (and possibly late, with late fees, etc.) if I don’t take care of it right then. So I dive in and take care of it.
The worst-case scenario when I do this is that things are a little tight with my living expenses for a week or two here or there. But that is easier to manage than having things be tight and also trying to figure out how to squeeze bill money out of the dwindling purse as well. Bills are such unforgiving Pac-Men of money. Chomp chomp chomp. So, it’s best to just accept that, and feed the Pac-Man at the first of the month, and then he leaves me alone for the next few weeks.
One big, huge, enormous caveat to this that I feel honor-bound to mention is that this philosophy only works for me now that my budget is “balanced.” To put this more frankly, this philosophy only works now that I have more money coming in than going out. I have the ability to choose to just “take care of things” whereas this has not always been the case. Only a few months ago I was so pressed that I was choosing among essential things, and then skating along. Last fall I once went 12 days on $40, including some of those days with my two kids. Not fun. Barely even possible, and definitely not fun. Since I’ve paid off my lawyers, though, I have just a little bit of wiggle room, so I’m not going to pretend that this is a situation where you can just “set your intentions” or “change your mind” and watch all of your life pieces fall into place. It took me two full years from leaving the ex to get to this state, and several years before that since I had financial stability. In my case, what it took was waiting for that first real tax refund after Mr. Ex got his paws off my W-2 checkboxes, and that helped me flip the whole cake from upside-down to right-side-up. So if you have an upside-down cake right now, please know that I have ZERO judgment or admonishments for you. You do what you have to do to get that cake right-side up, and then you will have time for more minor concerns like how to time car maintenance and home repairs to match your budget and your schedule.
When I first left my ex, who was very, very particular about what he would eat, I remember fixing myself a very simple meal one evening for dinner. It was fish (he hated fish) and rice and vegetables. If I had wanted that dinner while I was with him, I would have had to cook it for myself and then cook him a separate meal, or risk the temper tantrum. Which is worse? Not sure. I remember taking my bowl of fish and rice outside and looking up at the clear, bright moon, and literally crying into my dinner because it felt so good, so free to eat what and when I wanted. While I don’t cry into my dinner anymore (much), it still makes me feel happy and giddy every single day when I decide what I will eat. The money stuff and the periodic adulting tasks like these — the administrative ones — feel like that first day in the moonlight to me now. Today, I got the last bill of the month in the mail, and I still have a few coins to rub together. Enough to keep me in milk and bread (metaphorically speaking, of course — I’m gluten and lactose intolerant
