Why am I entertaining a man that doesn’t want me?
Yea he WANTS me but he doesn’t want me completely, not in the way that I need him to want me.
Why did I let my heart get caught up in something so temporary?
I shouldn’t have been so open..so willing to fall into his arms..so willing to embrace my craving for love and affection
I am a woman with love in my heart and soul.
I’ve got much to give and I’ve given it to him. I’ve proudly displayed myself and my womanly capabilities so that he could see my worth..my value..as well as my faults..my desires..my mind..my world
He’s embraced me and made me feel loved. Problem is, he loves me like a friend.
Like a friend.
Ok then, I knew. I knew from the beginning what he wanted cause he was open and honest with me.
It was my fault for putting so much into our friendship like I had.
What did he care though? He was getting the benefits of a relationship without being in one.
It suited him well.
And now I’ve got to cut my emotions away from my soul. I’ve got to reach deep down and unravel the thread that pulls at my heart.
This was just a friendship. This was just a friendship. I need to believe it..
He doesn’t want me, not completely. I am just a convenience.
A man knows what he wants and will always strive to get it. He’s shown me that..or rather lack of.
I’ll make every excuse that I can to tell myself I’m wrong about him and maybe he really does “want to build a strong friendship” first.
But baby, how much longer do you need? I’ve just about given you a year of my life.
Is there an us? Will there ever be an us? Answer me that.
A part of me knows the answer to that question, I just need to hear it from you.
Just so I can move on.
I can’t be your friend. I don’t want that. And to pretend otherwise won’t do me any good.
So for now, I am not at peace but I’ll strive to be.
With Unfortunately too much Love,
Your Friend with Relationship Benefits
