I’m sure by now you understand how much I love books. If you don’t, now you know I do. In fact I’m sure that is why I don’t have a boyfriend. It’s not the fact that fictional people are much better than real, it’s the fact I feel more comfortable around the written word.
This got me thinking: What if dating was like book. It has a start, beginning and an end, sometimes it goes further and you become addicted to the fandom or book. You can swear until death do you apart that you will forever be loyal to said book.
So in all of my infinite wisdom I decide to compare your partner and dating experience to certain types of reading experience. And because I am procrastinating from actual work and studying that I need to do (I will be using guys as an example, but this applies to girls as well).
The One-Night Stand
This is the book that is cute, fluffy, and it is depending on what you call a short novel (Not to be confused with short story) I usually think it is about 200-250 pages with medium letter size. It is a stress reliever from all the mind-bending philosophical books that you have been reading lately, or just from the tedious monotony of life.
It is a book that, like the name suggest, is easy to read in one sitting, usually late at night to clear your mind from any crap you had in the day. You have fun with it and when you finish you can happily go to sleep.
You wake up in the morning, and maybe a little grumpy because you went to sleep late, but continue the day like it never happened. It was a forgettable experience and within a day or two you have forgotten it. It is something you would recommend to a friend or colleague who is having a problems or just generally sad.
But if you are looking this is what I recommend (I have read a lot of more feminine, girly one-night stands. I will try to find some stuff for those who don’t necessarily want to read fluff about girls fawning over men):
Bridget Jones’s Diary series by Helen Fielding:
The Little Shop of Happily Ever After by Jenny Colgan:
(To be honest any book by her, they are all very good, but this is one of my personal faves)
Bad Girls by Rachel Chance:
Why We Took the Car by Wolfgang Herrndorf:
This is a completely opposite to the One Night Stand. This type of book is usually non-fiction, or one of those dystopian novels. They make you think about serous and troubling topics about life the universe and everything in it. There are two types of people who read these books,
You could be the one that for the most part you read them because you enjoy the journey through the mind and opinion of the author. It is really deep and makes your feel complete when you finally finish it. In fact it could become your favourite book of all time and you will never forget it. It even might change your view in the world. You might be called a nerd because of it, but it makes you feel proud about yourself.
Or you could be the type of person that wants to read them because you can boast to all your friends about it. For this one, you skim read through and the end result is the most important thing. You don’t read it because you enjoy it, you read it because you can say that you finished. After you have done you throw the book in the tiny cupboard in your room or return it back to the library. You just remember the name so that you can bring it up in posh conversations with your friends.
The types of books that I recommend are:
1984 by George Orwell:
A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley:
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins:
This is the type of series that you absolutely love to begin with but after reading it you lose interest. You begin it with absolute awe. You run around claiming it is the best piece of literature you have ever read. But then something changes:
You either find a better book that catches your eye and realise that you prefer that genre of writing. You either got bored with the books or the main character is starting to annoy you, or simply the writing just declines after that one hit wonder.
These are the type of books that are usually cash cows. They rely on the fact that you enjoyed the first few pages and just hopes that you won’t notice when they don’t deliver.
I would recommend the first few books of these series, (This is completely opinion based, you may find that you will enjoy the whole series in the end):
The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot:
The House of Night series by P.C. Cast and a number of other authors:
Ever single fanperson knows about one of these. This is the book or series that you can not get off your mind. From the first moment you saw the first few words you were hooked. You dream about the story at night (if you are not reading it to the early hours of the morning). You usually have a fictional crush on one of the characters or you believe hard enough you could join them in their fictional world.
This is different from The Infatuation, as this you will never stop loving it. You feel physical pain when the last books end. If there are movies out you will watch the Hell outta them. If there is a huge fandom base, you will become one of them. You start to join Tumblr or Pintrest so you purely just get you next fix of it. If there is fanfiction you will be the one writing it. You could say it is equivalent to breaking up with a guy and you keep stalking him.
One might feel certain symptoms like book-hangovers, the feels, and all round insanity.
The books I recommend with a warning is obviously Harry Potter (the series, the movies, the other books, Potterworld etc…) by the amazing J.K. Rowling:
Anything to do with the Percy Jackson universe by Rick Roirdan:
The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare:
Honestly there are about a thousand but these are my top favourites.
This is the end of my analogy. I hope you realised that it took a lot of effort to come up with these and I am really quite proud of myself.
If you want more book related stuff, click this link Reasons Why I Read Books when I explain why books are important to me.
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