Some collabs just work. This one is extra special as it crosses two series.
No point for this image… they were just cute, okay? #don’tjudgeme
Ben and Xavier were childhood best friends. Ben’s father, the pastor in their community, devout to the extreme and generally a homophobe will do everything in his power to “cure” his son. As a result, Ben has gone through some challenges when dealing with his sexuality and his family’s acceptance, his community’s harsh judgement and life in general, and of course, that’s what has influenced his relationship with Ezra.
Xavier’s family moved away shortly after he was rejected by Ben when Xavier tried kissing him. Xavier never bothered hiding who he is. Not from his family (who he would’ve loved to get more attention from) or from the people around him. When he finds himself in San Francisco, he finds his home.
When Ben reconnects with Xavier (thank God for Facebook, eh?) he finds his childhood love all grown up, lean, all tatted and pierced. He finds a work of art, and he’s smitten all over again.
The book basically gives us Ben’s rediscovery of his own sense of self, his confidence, his persona, what he likes and when he shouldn’t be thinking of what other people would say. Xavier is the one to draw Ben out of his shell.
Sure, he does it with light kink, with a lot of teasing and with kind and positive words of encouragement, but I always say – as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone and it works – I’m game. The book is sexy, it’s sensual, it’s charming in a very sweet way. It’s also frustrating (guard your kindles from bursts of anger) and sad. But most of all, it has the most beautiful happily ever after.
I loved.
4.5 Stars
~Eleanor
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Ben Emerson has lived by his minister father’s rules most of his life. Born into an ultra-conservative church community, he’s finally brave enough to break free and move to San Francisco. Distancing himself certainly helps create a new mindset, but living as an openly gay man takes some getting used to. When he reaches out to Xavier, a childhood friend who lives in the city, Ben isn’t sure how he’ll respond given their thorny history. Ben hopes the familiar connection will help him right some wrongs as well as provide the solace he’s been craving.
Xavier Ramos is who he is, and he doesn’t give a damn what anyone thinks. Whether it’s eyeliner, nail polish, tattoos or his love of hooking up, he uses his body as a form of self-expression but doesn’t let anyone get too close. When Ben reenters his life, Xavier helps him experience the city and feel comfortable in his own skin. Seeing the world through Ben’s eyes, he begins to wonder if he’s also not living as freely as he thought.
When Xavier challenges Ben’s beliefs about sex, it becomes explosive—for both of them. Xavier breaks apart Ben’s sheltered world and shows him what it’s like to live out loud. The more time they spend together, the more Xavier begins to long for Ben in a different way—one that both surprises and scares him. But real life doesn’t fade into the background, so when Ben’s past comes knocking, old habits are hard to break. Testing the foundation of their deepening connection will take a trust that will either bind them…or tear them apart.
**Riley Hart writing as Nyrae Dawn
**Ben is from PAINT THE STARS and Xavier is from A HUNDRED THOUSAND WORDS, but LIVING OUT LOUD can be read as a complete standalone.
