Are there ever times when you feel that God just isn’t listening, especially when you need Him most? Have you ever felt abandoned by Him? I know that I have. And it is super tough. God is supposed to love us and take care of us but sometimes, it seems like He’s nowhere to be found.
There have been many times in my life where I’ve felt this way. It always seems to come during the points in my life where I’m at my lowest. I pray and pray and get no answers. One thing after another keeps piling up and it gets overwhelming. In these moments, doubt creeps in and I think to myself, “Does God really love me?” “Does he even care what’s going on?” “Why wouldn’t he be here when I need him?” These questions are hard. And recently I had another experience like this. I was praying but getting nothing. I was asking God to show me what to do, but he didn’t. That’s when I remembered something I had learned a couple years ago about praying to God in times of need. I want to share this with you so that hopefully, next time you feel alone, you can be comforted.
Growing up in a Catholic school system, I feel like we are never really taught how to pray in these kind of situations. I mean we learn all the formal prayers and stuff, but when it comes to actually praying, it can be really hard. At my grade school, they used to tell me that praying was “talking to God.” But to me, that can be kind of confusing, especially when we feel that God has abandoned us. Plus, sometimes it’s just hard to hear what God’s telling you in general. Still, if it seems like God isn’t even with us when we need Him, then how can we talk to him?
A few years ago, I asked the same question. The answer I got has changed the way I pray ever since. It was this: that in moments of despair and loneliness, when God has seemingly left us, we need to pray honestly. What I mean by this is we need to tell God exactly what we are feeling. For me, that prayer ends up looking a little something like this, “God I am angry at you right now. I am upset with you and the things in my life. Where are you?! Why are you gone when I need you?! It makes no sense. You’re supposed to be here and you’re not. You’re supposed to take care of me and you’re not. I’m just angry with you.” These prayers are so powerful. They let us open our hearts to God completely and hold nothing back. Especially if you are a person who tends to bottle up your emotions, this type of praying can be remarkably powerful. By simply expressing our true feelings of anger and sadness to God, we can be consoled and comforted. Now its not a magic trick to fix everything right away, but for me, each time I pray honestly, I feel a burden lifted off my heart. I didn’t BS my prayer. I told God exactly what I thought and showed Him all my pain. And in the back of my mind, I knew that He was there. Because the fact of the matter is, that God always guides our hearts in the way He knows is best for us. This means that even when we feel nothing, He is using our feelings of nothingness to help us grow closer to Him. However, in the moment, recognizing this is so extremely hard. That’s why honest prayer is so helpful because it shows us that we do believe in His love and His guidance. We just can’t feel it at the moment.
He felt abandoned too
Let us now look at the greatest example of honest prayer ever given to us – Christ’s prayer on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) Jesus was the most perfect man to ever live. He was the Son of God and knew how deeply His Father loved him, yet still, He experienced the same feeling of abandonment. I mean to me, I see this call as Jesus saying, “Father I need you. I am in so much pain, please be with me. I need you..” Can you imagine what expressing this pain must have done for Jesus? By allowing Himself to cry out to His Father, Jesus was, in a sense, showing His Father how much he believed in Him. He was recognizing his desire for the Father to comfort him and by doing so, was telling the Father yes I believe in you because I am saying that you can comfort me. Not only was this call an expression of deep faith, but, it was also a release of utter anguish and pain. In fact, I bet calling out to God in this way was one of the only things that gave Jesus at least some relief on the cross. It’s crazy because we would never think that honest prayer could be so powerful. Sometimes, I think we are afraid to pray honestly because we don’t want to offend God. While we definitely don’t want to offend Him, I believe that God delights in our honest prayer because through it, we open our hearts truthfully to Him pouring out our pain which consoles us and comforts us.
I feel like no one really is ever taught much about the power of honest prayer. For me, it has done so much good not only in my sufferings, but also in my joys. It works both ways and either way, our conversation with God (our prayer) becomes more real and more sincere which can only help us grow closer to Him. So, if you find yourself in a similar situation wondering where God is, I encourage you to give honest prayer an chance. Say exactly what you feel and allow God to work through it. He is always there and will never leave you. Trust in Him and be vulnerable. I promise, He will take care of you if you let him.
Songs and Stuff:
“By Your Side” – Tenth Avenue North
“Keep Your Eyes Open” – NEEDTOBREATHE
Job 6: 1-14, 24-25 (honest prayer from Job in the face of his suffering)
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