A few years ago I bought this book in Hay on Wye… (I have a thing for rescuing antique books by beloved authors from the unloving second hand shop)
It’s called Tennyson’s Poetic Works and it part of The Globe Edtion published by Macmillan & Co. This book was published in 1899. The book didn’t cost me much. Less than £1 I think… It had the following dedication inside:
I don’t know who Mr George Leade was or why Mr W. A. Dymond felt the need to gift him this book in August 99. (I assume it’s 1899!) I’m just grateful that he dedicated this book like this instead of saying “Happy birthday”. I don’t celebrate birthdays so I couldn’t have bought it otherwise…
Anyway, as I was reading the book, I was struck by the following poem:
Early Sonnets No. 1.
To __________
- As when with downcast eyes we muse and brood,
- And ebb into a former life or seem
- To lapse far back in some confused dream
- To states of mystical similitude;
- If one but speaks or hems or stirs his chair,
- Ever the wonder waxeth more and more,
- So that we say, ‘All this hath been before,
- All this hath been, I know not when or where.’
- So, friend, when first I looked upon your face,
- Our thought gave answer, each to each so true–
- Opposed mirrors each reflecting each–
- That tho’ I know not in what time or place,
- Methought that I had often met with you,
- And either lived in either’s heart or speech.
When I first read it, I thought that was what love felt like because at the time I believed that if you were meant to be together, you just clicked like that, and you just ended up together…
It didn’t really happen like that with RiverSystem. If I’m honest, when I first met him, I just felt sorry for him! But a friendship grew and we ended up getting together and getting married a year later. Now I feel like this about him and like we are closer than ever even though, sometimes I feel like bashing his head in and running off to the Carribbean and living in a Hut on the beach selling sea shell necklaces but that’s just on bad days!
However, I’ve had the above experience with others. And these people have become my best strongest and most loyal friends. These friends know who they are and why we are such good friends. These are the friends that when they see them I can hug them and not mind it. (I hate being touched normally!) These are the people I don’t mind seeing me cry because I know they’ll just hold my hand and listen if I want to talk or just sit there silently while I cry. They tell me that everything will be OK in the end and that tomorrow won’t feel so bad! They tell me that it’s normal to cry and it’s how we release our frustration or sadness and how we deal with grief. These are my go to friends. The ones that care about me and look after me.
They’re the ones that check up on me when I’m ill and look like I’m having a bad day. The ones that randomly buy me gifts when I’m feeling down. The ones that calm me down when I’m upset. The ones that comforted me when my smear test was positive and they found a cyst on my ovary. The ones that come to hospital appointments and hold my hand while I’m being examined by a doctor…
I love these friends and am grateful for all their help and support. I wanted to thank them all and tell you how much I appreciate them…
Do you have friends like this?