Let the sexy times roll!!! Oh the joys of Ovulation Tracking. The name says it all, ‘tracking ovulation’, that your ovulating, that your hormones are working and with that you just might fall pregnant because you have some nurse somewhere on the other end of the phone who you don’t know advising you when to shag your husband.

After visiting a fertility specialist (July 2016) and a tone of blood tests done, we were advised to try our luck at ovulation tracking first if we were then to undergo IVF at a later date. Ok, we thought, this ought to give us a good indicator to see if things are working.

In a nutshell its fucking fantastic to be told, you need to have sex tonight and go again tomorrow night as well, talk about a kill joy! Oh and then go have this blood test on this day and we’ll go from there. You get three ‘free’ months of ovulation tracking and after going one round leading up to my wedding (Oct 2016), I thought fuck this shit, its to stressful and if I’m stressed it probably won’t work so I’m not risking it. My hormones were all normal apparently however progesterone was 28 (from memory) this is suppose to be a tad higher. So when I told that to my lovely nurse friend Carly (not) she didn’t seem to impressed, as “you get a better result if you do it over the three consecutive months”. Well to fucking bad love, I’m going on my honeymoon and I’ll run out of time anyway.

Oh and hang on, lets not forget “enjoy your honeymoon, relax, it will happen”… fuck you too is all I can say!

Our honeymoon was awesome, but not even good ol American TV porn, oh my gosh like  on every channel at one place we stayed, got my eggs hatching. So upon arriving home  (Nov 2016) we kicked off again with the ovulation tracking and my second round proved all normal again with progesterone at 30. By this stage my husband and I were almost over being told when to have sex. By the time my so called last round approached (Early Dec) I was more then ready to “get this show on the road and over and done with”. So on the blower I get only to be told, “sorry you won’t make it before Xmas, we stop for the Christmas break”. “Fuck!!!” is all I could think, seriously! I have to wait now until after Xmas. Oh yeh so then when January rolled around and my period came in again, back on the blower I get and am hit with a recording of “sorry we don’t open until blah blah blah” “fuck!!!!” “what the fuck”. I couldn’t believe it, I now had to wait until February, and by this point I was so far over it, it wasn’t funny. Luckily I had made an appointment to see a fertility naturopath. I wanted to visit her to find out that if I went on herbs would it alter anything with the ovulation tracking. So off I went to see her and with my herbs and spices to go I got on the jungle juice hard.

Hello February 2017 and lets see if these herbs have done anything at all. With a deep sigh and happiness that this was the final round of tracking, I called in my period to my not so lovely nurse friend Carly. With the usual, have sex on this night, that night and smash out another session if you can as well. Oh sure lady I thought to myself, we’ll just smash out a few sessions like we do down the gym! I hung up with a “for fucks sake” as my mood plummeted.  Three nights of shagging and we were over it, and the shagging was over us. Its not porn people! “Cut, go again”. What a better way to ‘not’ get your jiggy on. We were at the point where we were almost not going to have sex because of the stress and killjoy of it all. Bloody hell, I’ll tell you now it was not hot, sweaty, exciting or fun at all, think more along the lines of, “lets do this shit and get it over and done with” now thats the right attitude to try and fall pregnant isn’t it lol.

Results in and another “sorry your progesterone is at 27 and we would have liked it to be higher”.  So the herbs made no difference in the time I’d been taking them. My progesterone hadn’t risen any higher. Progesterone, progesterone, progesterone, I’d always wondered about you? But… apparently its all normal? Feeling very over it and honestly at the point of why am I bothering I knew we had a hard road ahead…

Share this:
Like this:Like Loading...