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Why You're Not Married . . . Yet: The Straight Talk You Need To Get The Relationship You Deserve (2012)

by Tracy McMillan(Favorite Author)

3.74 of 5 Votes: 3

ISBN

0345532929 (ISBN13: 9780345532923)

languge

English

genre

Nonfiction

publisher

Ballantine Books

review 1: I first heard about this author during one of Oprah's Super Soul Sunday marathons--McMillan was a featured guest. Her quick witted retorts and tough talk about casual sex and marriage as the most difficult yoga enticed me to pick up her book. My hope was that I would find in its pages some fresh engaging perspectives on loving and ways to enhance my relating (in gerund form on purpose). While there are one or two nuggets of wisdom, although hardly original, I found myself bored and at times wondering how the students in a Gender and Communication course would respond to what is clearly some extremely reductive thinking on gender prescriptions and roles. Sure, she tried to preempt the feminist critique with an argument that goes like this: do you want to be a feminist or do... more you want to be married? And, if your answer is "both" then the author positions you into the "bitch" category, a word she uses with a degree of recklessness I find troublesome for someone who is allegedly on a spiritual sojourn. Frankly, most "traditional" approaches to relating are more nuanced than what McMillan has written when it comes to roles.I believe this to be a bubble gum pop psychology on relating infused with some very real lived experiences that the author frames within the lessons that she has learned along the way. This book is written for heterosexual women with low level critical thinking skills in their 20s. Most intelligent, strong and sensitive women can do without this book.
review 2: Oh geeze, good information in this book. It's basically common sense but sometimes we need someone to remind us of what innate common sense is. I get what she's saying in this book. I really really really do. It almost seems "channeled" with the necessary information needed to "fix yourself" to have a successful happy normal relationship that isn't drama filled.The reason I gave 3 stars - I did like this book, but I've read Tracy's previous book "I Love You, But I'm Leaving You - A Memoir"...and her writing style with that book was so raw, so real, so written in her blood that I was intoxicated with every word... and this book does have snippets of who she is but it seems a more sanitized Tracy. Is it Tracy's "fault" that she's not a mess anymore and that she's gotten herself together? No no no...it was just my expectation in reading this book (back to back with her previous book). Very very happy Tracy is in a good good place.Would I read another book from her: Oh yes. Absolutely. We're all on a similar road and this book helped me peek around the corner before I turned it. I would read another memoir, a novel or a Spiritual step by step written by Tracy.Grateful for showing me who I am / will be after a few of the layers have been peeled. less

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