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Stepmonster: A New Look At Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, And Act The Way We Do (2009)

by Wednesday Martin(Favorite Author)

4.07 of 5 Votes: 2

ISBN

0618758194 (ISBN13: 9780618758197)

languge

English

genre

Nonfiction

publisher

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

review 1: This book was very validating. The author describes so many of the scenarios, feelings and expectations that come with being a stepmom and reassures us that these experiences are enough to make anyone feel less than whole. The expectations we have on ourselves are bad enough, but add to that the implicit and explicit expectations of those around us and we are doomed to fail. I didn't really learn much that I didn't already know, but it was very validating to know I'm not alone.
review 2: I think if I had read this book earlier in my relationship with my "blended family," it would have given me a lot more insight and peace with these classic stepfamily issues. I am in a unique position because I have been on both ends of the stepfamily situation, and because... more of this I was committed to not continuing the "less than ideal" situation I experienced as an adolescent and young adult. For this reason, when i got involved with a man who was divorced ad had a child, I made it very clear to everyone that (this book elucidates that although it would be perfectly understandable if I did )- I truly, in my heart of hearts, I never looked at my stepdaughter like she was an outsider, or "not mine." From the get-go, I truly CHOSE her when I chose the man I married. So I didnt really understand how someone who gets involved in a situation like that could NOT look at things that way. This book helped me understand a little bit more the frustrations that women with stepchildren face, and I feel extremely fortunate that I don't check a lot of the items off on my list. I particularly appreciated the section re: "Stepmother Sadness and Depression," outlining the risk factors. I feel like I organically worked through a lot of this because of my innate desire to live a happy life, and never give up. Much work still remains on the other side of the family, where I'm a stepchild, but I simply take it one day at a time. I wish this book would have spoken a bit about other "complex" situations (like when infidelity is present in the couple's relationship beginnings), for that muddies up the waters even more. Guess its a topic I should continue to work through with my therapist instead of looking for answers in a book. less

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