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The Gifts Of Imperfection: Let Go Of Who You Think You're Supposed To Be And Embrace Who You Are (2010)

by Brené Brown(Favorite Author)

4.15 of 5 Votes: 5

ISBN

159285849X (ISBN13: 9781592858491)

languge

English

genre

Nonfiction

publisher

Hazelden

review 1: I felt that the author's writing and insights were somewhat disjointed and scattered. The book didn't flow well from beginning to end and has a serious drop off in relevance in the final chapters. I did think a lot of the advice was truly useful and important, but this information was given in small snippets amongst a large amount of other information which was less useful and not very helpful.It bothered me that throughout the book that the author kept talking about the years and years of qualitative research she had performed (the basis for all of her conclusions) and yet she does not include one single story, case study, interview, or even anecdote from all this research. Instead, only her personal stories serve to make her points. Sometimes they work and sometimes not ... moreso much. At each chapter I was hoping for more illustrative examples to help me understand the author's point.The author references a lot of other researchers and their work. Their conclusions were some of the more insightful parts of the book.I think that the book is just okay. It's a quick read that does a lot of meandering about while explaining some important topics. The advice given is generally good, but not entirely groundbreaking.
review 2: “Self-Help” books are endemic. Most of us want to improve some part of our life on an ongoing basis thus “How To” books abound – “Lose Weight Easily,” “Change Your Life in 30 Days,” “How Better Friends in Can Make You Rich!” – titles that intrigue and hook into our hope that “it will be better, then!” Rarely does a book come from an outlook of “this is how I changed my life, maybe it will be of help to you,” yet that is the style and tone offered by Dr. Brown in this well researched (she is a professional researcher), concise book whose writing is more prose than technical. The book deserves to be read slowly enough so the practical suggestions can take root beyond the, “Oh, that’s interesting!” phase, but could easily be read through in a weekend. Dr. Brown is clear in her writing that people and things only change when the work is done to make those changes. The “Sub-Sub-Title of the book is “Your Guide To a Wholehearted Life” and is the result of her having experienced a “Breakdown Spiritual Awakening” (her description) in 2007. She defines Wholeheartedness “is as much about embracing our tenderness and vulnerability as it is about developing knowledge and claiming power.” (p.xi). Because she choose to grasp this time period as moment of awakening rather than a time of grief, she frames the “steps” to living Wholeheartedly as “Guideposts,” framing the tasks more as a guided journey than a “Fix It Fast” guarantee. None of the Guideposts are surprising and each is discussed in a chatty manner that feels more akin to having a talk with a trusted other than it does the results of a professional researcher, which is a good move if the author desires to have her results actually read. This does not diminish the data she presents, especially when she uses her personal experience when relating said findings. The Guideposts are (emphases are mine): #1 – Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think (so much for holding to my Co-Dependency!”) #2 – Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism (I don’t have to be right all the time?!?!) #3 – Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing andPowerlessness (feeling deeply is part of LIVING) #4 – Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear ofthe Dark (what I have is sufficient) #5 – Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Needfor Certainty #6 – Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison (Being “me” isa good thing.) #7 – Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a StatusSymbol and Productivity as Self-Worth (WHEW! Thankgoodness!) #8 – Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting Go of Anxiety as aLifestyle (If people did this, I’d be out of work.) #9 – Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt“Supposed To”#10 – Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cooland “Always in Control”Each chapter ends with a DIG (Deliberate, Inspired, Going) reflection. This is a time to actually consider what was just read, consider what needs to be done if one is to incorporate that step into one’s life and create a plan to practice that choice regularly. I found this book to be helpful and encouraging. The author offers no guarantees of how changes will occur only that these “guideposts” made, and continue to make, a difference in her life. less

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