Since my last blog, much has happened and not in my favor. I was accepted to the University of Redlands and with a ton of scholarship, about $45,000 a year. But 4 year privates are expensive and I needed to pay an additional $7,000 out of pocket, and I couldn’t. This was due to my home situation, being that my grandparents live with me and my mom supports them. Because my grandparents insurance is paid through the government, my mom can’t claim my grandparents as dependents on her taxes without my grandparents insurance going away. This means, when it came to financial aid time, FAFSA saw that my mom is making all this money with only me as a dependent – they didn’t give me crap. So now I’m stuck. I need to find away to not pay for college at all, and that’s difficult to do now in days. But it’s my only option now. So life goes on…
Now that I’m on break, I’ve just been working more. I should be practicing more and taking lessons, but I’m burned out, unmotivated and just depressed. I haven’t picked up my horn in days and can’t seem to find the will to practice. But I’m going to force myself to play today. I know that I’ll feel better once I get into a proper practice routine. The routine has been difficult because… well, life. My grandpa got sick last Tuesday and we spent an entire 17 hours in the ER, from 7 pm-12 pm. Then, I wasn’t able to practice those two days. My room is also wicked small for an instrument like a tuba, let alone, practicing with an instrument that big. So normally I like to practice in the living room, and I can only do that when my grandparents aren’t home, which is never. Really, most of this stuff is just an excuse and I totally could have practiced. But I hope to be turning a new leaf soon and get out of this funk that I’ve been in. Tomorrow is a fresh start and I can decide whether it’s on the right foot or not. Here’s to fresh starts!
-CV
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