Oh what a year! 2017 came creeping right behind the heels of 2016 as I prayed my way into the year. As I had done for more than two decades, I was in church with my family decreeing, declaring and prophesying as the clock ticked by and by into 2017.
This is my third draft. I just can not seem to find an appropriate way to describe this past year. Year full of elevations and lessons. Like a toddler, in a hurry to walk ahead of the parent’s lead, I fell down a couple of times but my doting father, Abba picked me up the ground, dusted the sands off and helped me get back on my feet.
2017 will ever be evergreen in my memory. This year ended my search and need for love in the wrongest places. I came to an acceptance of the amazing woman in Christ Jesus that is me. I watched the Holy spirit affirm to me time and time again that I am worth the life of Jesus and worthy of the father’s love. He helped me work through self loathing and bitterness and is teaching me to love like the father. I stopped seeking human validation and learned to listen to His opinion of me. He calls me daughter, he calls me beautiful, he tags my smile priceless and healed my heart. He said He is enough for me and never since then have i felt short. I stopped hiding behind a tough, sassy girl persona and entered that place of vulnerability with Him and he showered his pure love on me. That is the best thing that happened to me this year. God’s pure, unfailing, unwavering, unending love.I moved from forced self-confidence to Godfidence. You would hear me say “I don’t have valley experiences,” even when it seems like nothing is making sense in my life, “I am not broke,” when I have bills to pay, I have this and that. Yes, Godfidence (because I know who my God is) and it is the best accessory a woman can have.
If I am to describe 2017, I would tear up over and over again like I am right now. It was my year, but it was also quite the year. Do you remember outgrowing that your lovely shoes as a child? Recall the pain of separation, the stress of walking through the market to find another shoe? That was another big highlight of my year. As I grew in my faith and advanced in my walk with God, I struggled with letting go of burdens and earthly lusts. Urgh, oh the struggle. I would pray about something and God would say no and then I would try to negotiate. “You see, God, I could have this and still walk in your perfect will for me.” I would argue and argue my case and sometimes, shut God out and do it my own way. Burn!!!! I would burn each time lol and then run back to his waiting arms. Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abounds? God forbid (Romans 6:1b). I realized it made no sense to try the same thing time and time again and expect a different result. I was scared of trying the new things even though I didn’t need to walk through market to find the new perfect shoes because God had it figured out. I wasn’t just trusting enough to accept that his will for me is the best. This was the biggest lesson for me: Don’t abuse grace and trust God wholly.
There is a lot I am grateful and thankful for; family, friends, life, love, chicken – yes, i am grateful for chicken. I am filled with adoration and praise for the wonderful works of the father in the past year. I am grateful for opened doors and even closed doors, thankful for growth and lessons, appreciative of every testimony that made my year awesome.
This is not my usual retrospect of a year but this is one worthy of sharing. I am buzzing about what 2018 holds in store for me. May this new year bring to you the joy of salvation, love and peace. May all your heart desires be granted according to the will of God. Amen.
Cheers,
Sunmisola.
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