A Cautionary Tale of Kundalini Blow-out


Let’s face it, we live in a culture that expects results now. And only now if yesterday’s not an option. There is, one could say, an un-virtuous loop going on between advertising and the fabric of our cultural milieu that feeds this insanity. And while I’m being slightly hyperbolic here, calling this a kind of collective “insanity” really is not far off the mark.

The same is true, alas, for what one might call “spiritual goods and services”. Even when it comes to spiritual experiences, attainments, etc…, we still expect results fast and on-the-fly; both here in America, and in other parts of the Western world as well. If we can pop a pill to make us feel better in the next ten minutes, why can’t the same be true for something like meditation?

The truth is, of course, these kinds of things just don’t work like that. Awakening experiences aren’t put on like a bright new blouse from Macy’s. To think otherwise is to really misunderstand what aspects of our human nature are in play here. This is not superficial stuff.

Of course, the problem is, in a time when seemingly everything’s been reduced to a depth of about a quarter of an inch, many people aren’t even aware there’s more to a human being than the superficial stuff to begin with!

Furthermore, unrealistic expectations are not the only thing to be concerned about here. There is also the issue of the health and welfare of the human being in question. It is highly presumptuous of us to assume one can receive a mind-blowing awakening experience, and bask in nothing but its goodness like a spray-on tan.

The truth is far different.

In the somewhat rare occasions where someone does receive a deep awakening via a peak experience that goes well beyond their normal, everyday experience of life, some really troubling aspects can arise. In the least extreme cases, one can be left feeling deeply discombobulated for a time. At worst, a near psychosis can set in. How long that takes to work itself out varies from person to person.

I known someone who had one of these very experiences. And while it was in many ways life-changing for him, it was also deeply troubling. Even to this day — a couple decades on — he’s still not quite sure what to do with the whole thing. He’s, on and off, worked on a book about the experience, for several years now. However, it seems that a mix of ongoing bewilderment and — even a kind of embarrassment — keeps him from finishing it. When it comes to the part of the book where interpretation comes in, he just stares at a blank screen for hours on end, not sure what to write.

Very briefly, this is what happened to him. After having worked in the high-pace, high-stakes culture of Silicon Valley in the 1990s, he had built up what anyone would consider a very successful career. However, he was left feeling somewhat hollow by the lifestyle, regardless of the toys, accolades and wealth he had accrued.

Then came a week where he happened to stumble across several different sources of spiritual material. One was a book; another was an article; another was a lecture. All of them seemed to be saying the same thing — and each one kind of multiplied the message and energetic repercussion of the former; to the point where his entire lifestyle suddenly seemed woefully askew.

Then came the break.

A mental break, is what he calls it. Suddenly everything just kind of flipped upside down. He wasn’t sure who he was; where he was; or even how old he was. In fact, when his concerned parents visited him in hospital a couple of days later, he responded to his mother like a toddler might.

He was kept in a “facility” for several days for observation. Eventually, about a week later, things seemed to “normalize”. Before long he was back to his old routine. Needless to say, he was left shaken, confused, and, as I hinted at earlier, embarrassed by the entire episode.

He never had an experience like that again. But, to this day, he thinks about it a lot.

Some would use an expression like “Kundalini blow-out “to describe what happened to this friend of mine. Whatever you want to call it, the bottom line is that if you haven’t done the work to ground yourself; to strengthen your energetic core via a regular sitting practice, then you leave yourself susceptible to these kinds of situations where sudden insights — or what we might call “energetic downloads” — rain down like a torrent. In extreme cases like the one I just described, the downloads can completely overwhelm the nervous system.

So, as the saying goes: be careful what you wish for. If only those “Awakening Workshops” you see advertised would take this into consideration when promising in bold, 36-point font: “Enlightenment Now: Just One Weekend to Change Your Life Forever!”

Is a deeper, more expansive understanding of reality possible through practices like zazen (sitting meditation)? Absolutely. But we need to understand that this more like a marathon than a sprint. And therefore preparation is essential.

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