Every year, we all make new year resolutions with much gusto and planning. Initially, we are all pepped up and ready, buying planners, noting goals and promising to follow them. We work towards these goals for some days as well only to discover a few weeks later that we are back in the rut, with the resolutions gone at the back of our minds.
However, you can make this year different by following these tips I am going to tell you about. Before I go into the tips, I will state the reason of why, for lack of a better word, “resolution forgetfulness” happens and how you can avoid it so that at the end of 2018, you have accomplished all you set your mind to.
Disclaimer: I have derived all these tips this from my favorite book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey (available for purchase from here). I am always raving about this book everywhere because to be honest, this is one book that has totally changed my outlook on life affairs in general.
First, I am going to discuss why we cannot stick to our new year resolutions and how we can modify our resolutions so that we can achieve them. There are two main reasons for this:
Reason Number OneOur goals are not aligned with who we are, what we want and what gives us happiness. For example, we may set a target that I will lose weight this year but in reality we do not want to lose weight, we are happy the way we are, we do not want to cut down food but the society says that we are fat and chubby, we should lose weight. I am not endorsing obesity, I am just saying that our goals should focus more on our own happiness rather than the expectations of the society.
Reason Number TwoThe second reason is that because our goals are not tangible. They are too generic or unrealistic.
A goal should be S.M.A.R.T
S=Specific, M=Measurable, A=Achievable, R=Realistic, T= Time based
Specific, Measurable And Time BasedInstead of aiming, I will lose eight kgs this year, you can set your goal as I will lose 2kgs till March, 2kgs till June, 2 kgs till September and 2kgs till December. The way this goal is put together now makes it sound more achievable as compared to the first generic goal.
Achievable and RealisticDo not make an unrealistic goal which is hard and impossible to achieve. Keep your relations and responsibilities in mind as well. Remember the key word is balance when trying to set your goals. As Stephen R. Covey puts it:
Balance: Your tool should help you to keep balance in your life, to identify your various roles and keep them right in front of you, so that you don’t neglect important areas such as your health, your family, professional preparation, or personal development.
Many people seem to think that success in one area can compensate for failure in other areas of life. But can it really? Perhaps it can for a limited time in some areas. But can success in your profession compensate for a broken marriage, ruined health, or weakness in personal character? True effectiveness requires balance, and your tool needs to help you create and maintain it.
Now that the reasons for not achieving our goals is out of the way, let’s move on the tips to help you make S.M.A.R.T goals and achieve them
Tip No.1: Identify Your RolesBefore we even set our goals, the one thing we need to do is to identify our purpose and make our goals aligned with who we are, what we want and what gives us happiness. So how do we define who we are? Stephen R. Covey says:
Identifying Roles: The first task is to write down your key roles. If you haven’t really given serious thought to the roles in your life, you can write down what immediately comes to mind. You have a role as an individual. You may want to list one or more roles as a family member — a husband or wife, mother or father, son or daughter, a member of the extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. You may want to list a few roles in your work, indicating different areas in which you wish to invest time and energy on a regular basis. You may have roles in church or community affairs.
You don’t need to worry about defining the roles in a way that you will live with for the rest of your life — just consider the week and write down the areas you see yourself spending time in during the next seven days.
Here are two examples of the way people might see their various roles.
Individual
Husband/Father
Manager New Products
Manager Research
Manager Staff Dev.
Manager Administration
Chairman United Way
Personal Development
Wife
Mother
Real Estate Salesperson
Sunday School Teacher
Symphony Board Member
Using the above example, I identified my roles as such:
You can expand your roles as much as possible; I have incorporated more family roles instead of just wife and mother as in our society every family role requires commitment to keep it nurtured. And my aim is to keep a balance in each and every role.
Tip 2: Make S(Specific), M(Measurable), A(Achievable), R(Realistic) and T(Time based) Goals for Every RoleStephen R. Covey says
Coherence: Coherence suggests that there is harmony, unity, and integrity between your vision and mission, your roles and goals, your priorities and plans, and your desires and discipline. There also needs to be a place for your roles and for both short- and long-term goals.
Now that we have identified our various roles, let’s define the goals aimed for each role this year
1.Wife
Last year, some massive misunderstandings arose between my husband and I. This year, I will try to resolve them by being more patient, understanding and being a batter listener. However again I am making the mistake of making my goal too generic. What I will really do is that we are moving to a new country this year and this year in every decision I will not make the same mistakes I made last time. This is a highly personal goal so I cannot go into much details here.
2. Mother
I want to read up material on how to develop healthy eating habits in my baby and how to develop her brain. I aim to read and apply at least one article every month on baby brain development.
3. Daughter
My family is spread over different countries and I am afraid that I do not call my father as much as I should. This year, I aim to make it a point to call and talk to him every two weeks.
4. Daughter-In-Law
This year, I am going to move to a different country. I hope to maintain a pleasant long distance relationship with my mother in law. (Call every two weeks)
5. Sister
I will be moving away from my sister as well so I will make it a point to call and talk to her as well. Same goes fro my brother. I do not want our bonds to break even while living in different countries. (Call every two weeks)
6. Friend
I think I am connected to my friends 24/7 through social media. I want to cut this time down to become a more productive person lol. (Reduce my usage of Social Media To One Hour Per day)
7. Muslim
I am afraid, my reading of the Quran has almost become nonexistent after marriage and baby. I really do not have time to read the Quran. So my aim is listening to Quran. I have currently downloaded Surah Baqarah and I am almost halfway. I listen to it and to and fro from office. It really helps to start your day with Quran. I will also try to follow the adages of the Quran. I have downloaded Muslim Pro app on my phone and the first thing I do after waking up in them morning is to check its verse of the day with translation.
8. Electronics Engineer
Being an electronics engineer is not my work role, I have defined this role so that I can set some goals to stay abreast of the latest developments in my field. As I will be moving to Sydney soon , I need to study so I aim t o complete some courses. I am aiming to complete these four courses:
9. Senior Deputy Director CNS, SQMS Focal Person and HR Administrator
Wrapping up and handing over the charge to someone else as I am going on long leave to Sydney. These roles may be replaced by new roles over the year if I find work in Sydney Insha Allah
10. Creative Writer
I was a winner of Oxford Short Story Competition 2012, but over the years as my responsibilities increased this role has completely been ignored. This year I aim to complete and submit at least one short story or poem. (Goal: Work on the story at least 2 hours per month)
11. Journalistic Writer
I write articles for various magazines on social and women’s issues. I wish to complete some article on gender discrimination and valid women issues this year and submit them for publications. (Work on an article at least 2 hours per month).
12. Blogger
I aim to post at least one blog post per week.
13. Feminist
I strongly feel that the women in Pakistan are mentally, psychologically and physically oppressed. I write about these issues from time to time on various platforms. I also spoke on a FM show “Ao Baat Karein” on “Gender Discrimination In Pakistan” in 2016.
This year, I discovered this really awesome Young Feminists Movement. I would like to get in touch with them and see if I can do something for the women of Pakistan. I also aim to start a series on my blog to help women trapped in abusive relationships and marriages in collaboration with FGDRC (Female Governed Dispute Resolution Center). FGDRC is a legal entity governed by female attorneys and retired judges working on Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) mechanisms to resolve family matters, civil matters, petty criminal offences and corporate matters by ensuring inexpensive and expeditious justice methods for the women of Pakistan.
13. Homemaker
I will make my home and kitchen more organized and try to use the Kon Mari Method of Minimalistic living in my new house abroad
13. Beautiful Diva
Lol I don’t know if this was a role or not but looking good is very important to me. I am very fond of shopping and makeup and clothes so I will devote some of my time to these activities s as well. And if I do not do these activates who will write this lifestyle blog? Anways, I will keep some me time on weekends for this as well. In addition, every mother needs some spa time as well.
15.Me
Leisure is very important and I think every person should take out some time to pursue a hobby or activity that gives them immense pleasure. In my case, reading a book is my favorite pastime so this year I hope to read to any three of these books: Dozakhnama, Origin by Dan Brown, The Ministry of Utmost Happiness by Arundhati Roy, Mrs. Funny Bones by Twinkle Khanna, Exit West by Mohsin Hamid, After The Fire by
I have put up these books because I already have them on my shelf as I bought them from the awesome 5 books for Rs. 1000 sale hosted by The Book Hub. But I have kept my target of 2 to 3 books only because I know I cannot finish all due to my busy lifestyle.
I want to take 3 two week courses by Coursera. I am a huge fan of online learning as can be gauged from this post. In fact, I learnt all on how to setup this blog after I took the How To Create a Website in a Weekend! (Project-Centered Course) by Coursera two years ago. Now today I just got this email that Coursera has gotten some 2 week courses I have marked courses on Web development, creative writing and digital marketing (fields I am really interested in) and I plan to take some courses on SEO and digital marketing as well in case I wish to start earning from my blog.
In fact, if you read my goals, most of them are generic, I still have work to make my goals as specific as possible, which will be done soon as these are overall goals. This is just an example you can use to evolve weekly goals from long term goals.
Tip 3: Schedule your Goals Into The Daily Grind
According to Stephen R. Covey, do not buy or make a daily planner instead while planning to achieve your goals, spread them over the week and use a weekly planner.
Scheduling: Now you look at the week ahead with your goals in mind and schedule time to achieve them. For example, if your goal is to produce the first draft of your personal mission statement, you may want to set aside a two-hour block of time on Sunday to work on it. Sunday (or some other day of the week that is special to you, your faith, or your circumstances) is often the ideal time to plan your more personally uplifting activities, including weekly organizing. It’s a good time to draw back, to see inspiration, to look at your life in the context of principles and values.
If you set a goal to become physically fit through exercise, you may want to set aside an hour three or four days during the week, or possibly every day during the week, to accomplish that goal. There are some goals that you may only be able to accomplish during business hours, or some that you can only do on Saturday when your children are home. Can you begin to see some of the advantages of organizing the week instead of the day?
Having identified roles and set goals, you can translate each goal to a specific day of the week, either as a priority item or, even better, as a specific appointment. You can also check your annual or monthly calendar for any appointments you may have previously made and evaluate their importance in the context of your goals, transferring those you decide to keep to your schedule and making plans to reschedule or cancel others.
Let me tell you how to define weekly goals:
The time for these roles will be taken out of your daily chores and responsibilities as obviously bogged down by the daily grind, we ignore the things which can make us happy or better individuals. If you read my goals, you will realize that they are very important to me but not urgent. Even if I do not do these things, it won’t matter in the long run except when I grow old, I will find that I never “lived” my life or walked my dreams. I will become resentful and emotionally blackmail my children that I sacrificed my youth for you (A very common line frequently used by desi parents). Remember, you do not have to sacrifice anything for anyone. Allah has granted 24 hours which are sufficient if planned properly.
In order to achieve these goals , it’s better if we now divide the tasks on a weekly basis. For example, let’s take my role as electronics engineer, I wish to complete four courses. The four lectures in total consist of 200 videos. If I divide these videos by the number of weeks. 200/52=3.8 which means to reach my goal I will have to watch at least 4 videos every week. If I keep one video per day, I will still have 3 days in my week of no studying. Sounds cool and achievable, right?
So it’s better to plan your week according to your goals. Do this for all your goals to make your goals S.M.A.R.T. If you feel some goals is still yet unrealistic or unachievable, modify that goal because remember balance is the key.
Once you have done all the calculations and adjustments for all the roles, you can make a weekly planner on the following format:
I am attaching a blank sheet so you can save and take a print our or better still I will advise you to buy the book to follow all habits.
It is also important to mention, it is not mandatory to do tasks for every role every week. You can also keep tasks for some roles fortnightly, every three weeks or even once a month. Do whatever suits you, it’s your life anyway. Also do not set targets and goals comparing lives of others, we all are fighting our own battles in our own different ways. Stephen R. Covey puts this thought in this way:
Flexibility: Your planning tool should be your servant, never your master. Since it has to work for you, it should be tailored to your style, your needs, your particular ways.
Tip 4: Carry Your Planner With You Every Time
Portability: Your tool should also be portable, so that you can carry it with you most of the time. You may want to review your personal mission statement while riding the bus. You may want to measure the value of a new opportunity against something you already have planned. If your organizer is portable, you will keep it with you so that important data is always within reach.
My advice would be to keep your planner in your cell phone because that is the only things that goes with us everywhere. Here is a very handy website that has these weekly planners in both Excel and PDF format. You can download these files, edit and use them.
Weekly Planner Using The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People
Tip 5: Stick To Your Planner No Matter What
The final task is to stick to your planner no matter what. If your roles are properly defined and goals are made smartly, sticking to this planner will not be much effort as the goals are already achievable and realistic and take into account your relations, circumstances and responsibilities. But still if you are used to procrastination like me, some form of discipline will still be required. According to Stephen R. Covey,
Discipline derives from disciple — disciple to a philosophy, disciple to a set of principles, disciple to a set of values, disciple to an overriding purpose, to a superordinate goal or a person who represents that goal. In other words, if you are an effective manager of your self, your discipline comes from within; it is a function of your independent will. You are a disciple, a follower, of your own deep values and their source. And you have the will, the integrity, to subordinate your feelings, your impulses, your moods to those values. It also requires independent will, the power to do something when you don’t want to do it, to be a function of your values rather than a function of the impulse or desire of any given moment. It’s the power to act with integrity to your proactive first creation.
So what are you waiting for? Start planning and achieving for a better 2018.
Featured Image: Photo by Kelli Stirrett on Unsplash
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