I love Cassandra Snow’s Queering the Tarot series. I just love it. Pulling another round of emotion/rational/wise mind cards yesterday afternoon, I consulted her posts for an alternative interpretation of the Four of Wands, often seen as a “marriage” card.
First, her interpretation of wands is “whatever area of your life you’re most passionate about.” In this case I was asking about a few intersecting areas including creative expression and queer community.
For emotion mind, I pulled the Two of Wands, rational mind The Tower, and wise mind the Four of Wands. It’s as if the wands were doing their thing and The Tower came in and tore apart everything they thought they knew about the world, only to show them a difficult truth that, hard as it was to accept, was really important to hear.
That story essentially lays out the history of my question – entering into an exciting creative community, feeling the wind kicked out of me upon finding things I didn’t like underneath, and then forming a new creative community, hoping to fill the void with a more solid foundation. The question then is, do I still think the new community is fulfilling its purpose?
Emotion Mind – Two of Wands
It’s like the honeymoon stage of the new project. Everything is fresh and the wands are burning with possibility. I just can’t wait and it’s so exciting!
Emotion mind wants that fiery feeling of starting a new project. With things slowing and stalling over the past few months, the community isn’t feeling as passionate as it used to. Emotion mind says whatever decision I make, she wants that fiery feeling back. And she doesn’t want something that’s takes more water than than the fire it gives back.
Emotion mind also sees a hole that the community can’t fill, and wonders if I’m only still a part of it because I think the hole can be filled. Am I trying to re-do my past when I need to be doing something that moves me forward instead?
Rational Mind – The Tower
At first it seems like rational mind is acting on emotions (fear, specifically) by trying to logic its way out of something scary. Following your passion takes guts, and rational mind says it hasn’t been working out lately. If I have doubts – don’t do it, she says, or you’ll just get hurt again. Talk about thoughts reinforcing your environment.
Underneath the fear, rational mind is in fact being rational in saying that if the foundation is not good, it’s better off falling down now. Look at the building blocks, she says, and if they aren’t strong enough, find somewhere else to put your energy. Don’t let your guilt or reminiscence fool you into thinking the foundation doesn’t matter. Check the facts and do some pros and cons to get underneath its surface.
Wise Mind – Four of Wands
Taking away the “marriage” image on the card, Cassandra Snow says the Four of Wands can be about harmony and celebration, moving forward, putting your plans into action, or taking your work to the next level.
Going back to the 2-Tower-4 story, the community’s foundation was built on a desire to heal losses and create something we wanted and believed in. Looking at it now, wise mind wants me to spend some time thinking about my values and what kind of foundation I want today. Is the old one enough? Do I want to try to change it? Or is it time for me to move on to something that’s a better fit for my current values? Is the community serving its intended function, or has it become more of an energy drain?
This is great timing, as we’re starting to talk about values in DBT group this week. Hopefully that will help give me some clarity about what’s important to me, how those values are manifesting (or not) in my life, and what goals I can set to realign them.
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