Nancy Meyers is a gem. Akin to an emerald or a diamond, Nancy shines brighter than 10 million light bulbs or Edward Cullen’s skin in sunlight. Often referred to as “the voice of love” by myself and literally no one else, Nancy Meyers was, and currently is, a pioneer in women’s filmmaking after writing, producing and directing some of your favorite movies (if you’re me or most people’s mothers).
Since 1980, Nancy has either written, produced or directed 15 films, peaking in the year 2000 with her hit film, What Women Want, which went on to earn $374 million dollars at the box office. Not an easy feat, as my movies have yet to earn even a single dollar at the box office.
Nowadays, Nancy resides in Brentwood, California, a city that I once drove to and said it “looks nice.” Hopefully, she’s there working on her next project, but if she’s not, that’s ok too. SHE DOESN’T OWE US ANYTHING ELSE. SHE’S ALREADY GIVEN US ALL WE NEED TO THRIVE IN THIS WORLD.
To celebrate her and her illustrious career as one of the most successful directors of all-time, here is a definitive ranking of every film she directed. This doesn’t include some of her written accomplishments like Father of the Bride and Father of the Bride: Part II, but let’s continue to celebrate those and all the other movies she’s associated with accordingly.
6. What Women Want (2000)
This is the epitome of “Hasn’t Aged Well.” For starters, the premise is a bit creepy, right? Like, I appreciate the effort but “guy abuses his power of being able to hear women’s thoughts” just doesn’t sit right with me, especially considering the current state of our society where seemingly every man in politics, Hollywood and literally everywhere is a nightmare. This isn’t quite a shocker, as this is the only film on this list which wasn’t ALSO written by Nancy, so it obviously couldn’t, and doesn’t, carry the whole weight of her message and vision.
Secondly, wow, I must have missed the Mel Gibson apology tour because why have we seemingly forgiven this whacked out bag of crap? Dude’s a total monster. He’s violent, misogynistic, racist and homophobic. He’s one square away from winning Piece of Shit Bingo. Seriously, google the stuff he said to his ex-wife (which he’s never apologized for and only blamed the media for publishing), dude sucks. Anyway, mini-rant over. Mel Gibson’s a butthole. butt hole? Is butthole one or two words?
5. The Intern (2015)
I didn’t hate this movie! This one was just a bit of a misfire for me. Anne Hathaway’s a total delight and Robert De Niro is cute as fuck, but the overall arc of this flick doesn’t truly come to fruition. I liken watching Nancy’s movies to baking a warm plate of cookies. The scene is set (preparing the kitchen), the characters (ingredients) are introduced, they go through trials and tribulations (the measuring, the mixing, the baking) and then after some patient waiting, the reward, via the gooey goodness of a hot chocolate mouth-goodie, freshly pops out of the oven. Essentially, this movie’s mouth-goodie just didn’t do it for me, which is just my insane way of saying that I didn’t really care for the ending.
4. Something’s Gotta Give (2003)
A fun fact about me is that if you put Diane Keaton on my TV, I’m not moving until she’s OFF my TV or someone literally puts me down. I guess that’s not really a fun fact, but I’m really not that fun of a person, to be honest. I really enjoyed this movie. It’s fun, it’s funny, it’s cute, it’s REAL, it’s Nancy. It’s a 120-minute Xanax pill. I just wanted to pop another pill and smile for no goddamn reason at all.
3. It’s Complicated (2009)
I saw this movie alone in a Pennsylvania movie theater at 11 o’clock at night. Now that we got the obligatory sadness statement out of the way, let’s talk about how great Meryl Streep is for a hot minute. Meryl Streep is better than any sandwich I’ve eaten drunk. Meryl Streep is so fun, she was my favorite alternative pop band in college. Meryl Streep is so spectacular, she’s the complete opposite of my freshman year of high school. Meryl Streep and Nancy Meyers are my 2nd and 3rd Moms — they are truly so good at what they do. I’m immensely proud to be their fake-son.
What I like most about this movie (outside of a truly hilarious physical comedy performance by John Krasinski) is how it really encapsulates the hurtful, sometimes awkward, but tough experiences and choices that life presents us. Sometimes the fairy tale ending doesn’t come true, but there’s people, places and things in life that make it all worth it so never lose hope.
2. The Holiday (2006)
Here’s what I’ll say about this movie: I watch it every Christmas, because I am the guy you avoid at parties. I really, really like it and it makes me feel good and happy during a season when I really don’t tend to feel good and happy. It’s vintage Nancy. It’s old Nancy in the modern world, and this cinematic time machine she provides the filmgoers is one that is often overlooked, but shouldn’t be.
Now… I have some gripes. Who on Kate Winslet’s green earth allowed Jack Black to be Kate Winslet’s love interest? Kate Winslet is god. We all stand next to Kate Winslet and say, “Why is god here? Why is my decrepit bag of bones standing next to god right now?” I’m sure she read the script and her love interest’s name just said, “a Chris Pine type” but the casting director didn’t know who Chris Pine was so they hired the lead of Kung Fu Panda. What happened here? Cameron Diaz gets Jude Law and Kate Winslet is stuck with the guy who starred in the Goosebumps movie? It’s just a little uneven is all. If I was cast in this movie as Kate Winslet’s love interest, I’d be like “What is Kate Winslet dead? Who signed off on this?” Anyway, GREAT MOVIE.
1. The Parent Trap (1998)
Come on, this is just a superb piece of filmmaking. It’s without a doubt my favorite movie of all-time that features a character named Chessy. I loved it all: the handshakes, the handshakes music, the British accents, Martin the butler, Sammy the dog, Dennis Quaid the dad, and Lindsay Lohan at her best. This is essentially Nancy Meyers taking on the impossible project of rebooting a beloved Disney classic, that’s also out of her comfort zone, and saying “fuck this. I’m Nancy god damn Meyers and I’m the literal best at most things.” And then she promptly downed an Earl Grey Tea and CRUSHED it. God, Nancy’s great and so is this movie. I’m 1000% going to watch The Parent Trap after I’m done writing this.
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