During the time I was celebrating New Years, I was in Chicago freezing my ass off. The best way to describe to you all about my New Year’s Eve was that it was more bittersweet than anything. On one hand, I was ready for an opportunity to restart, to look forward toward the future. But on the other hand, I was leaving a big part of myself behind. 2.5 years of it actually. 2.5 years of memories, smiles, laughter, calls, texts, moments that are almost impossible to forget when they have such an impact on your life. But also 2.5 years’ worth of mistakes, regrets, and moments that I wish I could fix every single day…but…in the end, I never could. There are moments that we would never think would happen, but do, and then you ask yourself: “what happens now?”
As the hours were counting down till 12 am in the “Windy City”, I was reflecting back on all of those moments that I went through and I asked myself: “Is this the right thing to do? To leave a big part of myself behind in 2017?” This was a big decision that I had to make for myself before 2018 would show its face, and you could imagine that this was on my mind for a while now. For the time being, I was at war with myself. Asking all of these questions and at the same time, trying to find the answers for them.
Later that night on December 31st, I was at one of the most popular clubs in downtown Chicago called “Sound Bar” with my older sister, her boyfriend, along with four other amazing and wonderful people. We had arrived outside the club with a line in front of the entrance. By then, we had already become impatient because of how damn cold it was outside that clear night. It hadn’t reached above the negative range for most of the time that we were in Chicago. So we were already wanting to find warmth as we left the car once we would make it inside the club. It took 10 minutes before we could get inside because of the security outside patting everyone down. Once we made it inside, it took a little time to grasp just how busy it was. There was at least 500 people ready to witness the end of 2017 and the welcoming of 2018. After grabbing a beer and a Whiskey & Coke, I was asking myself what it would be like going into 2018 knowing that I was ready to leave a chunk of my life in 2017, would I feel any different than I did when I first got into that club? Would I eventually just be left with another regret? The night was in full swing and it seemed like time was flying by as I continued buying dollar top-shelf drinks. Before I knew it, it was only 30 minutes before midnight. Everything was amazing about that night so far, the drinks, the company involved, the conversations involved, and the atmosphere itself.
With 10 minutes remaining until the clock strikes 12, I heard an announcement saying that Champagne was finally being served. I knew that our group had to hurry up and get our share of it because as soon as the announcement was being made, each of the six bars within the two-story club were starting to become overwhelmed with people, it was becoming a mess at every location within the club. Luckily, we all managed to grab our share of it. 5 minutes had remained as soon as we all met back up with each other again. Suddenly, there was this feeling in the air. I knew that everyone could feel it especially with only 2 minutes remaining. It was the feeling of something old ending and something new beginning. I took a moment to myself to say my final goodbyes to 2017, to what will now be history and nothing more than history.
10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1
The timer had reached zero, and as soon as it reached zero, sirens were blaring, people were cheering, and New Year’s kisses were being made. For me it was different, when the timer reached zero, it felt as if time had slowed down. I came to the realization that 2018 was finally here. And all of the sudden….I smiled to myself because there was no sadness. I cheered with the rest of the club that night as we all had a hell of time drinking and dancing. That night on December 31st will go down as one of the best damn nights that I ever lived.
For some, a new year is, well, nothing more than a new year. For others though, it’s an opportunity to restart, to change, and to become someone new; it just takes dedication and the courage to make that change. Whatever you do though, never be afraid of change, become the person that you’ve always wanted to be, because you deserve to love who you are and who you want to be in this life. So you’re probably wondering by now, why am I telling you this? What is the point of this blog? This is my life, my story, my personal experiences, everything from now as I am writing this to the end of 2018. This is me becoming an open book for anyone looking for a reason to love the life that they are living.
Photo by Ben 
Photo by Ben 
Photo by Ben 
Photo by Ben 
Photo by Ben
Share this:
