– I find it helpful to quote the wisdom of my father who once told me, ‘Who knows why the fuck anything happens?’
– The flats were solidly built, so at least I didn’t grow up listening to next door’s live docusoap, but they were built on a the dubious assumption, so beloved of post-war planners, that the London working class was composed entirely of hobbits. –
– Every male driver in the world thinks they’re an excellent driver. Every copper who’s ever had to pick an eyeball out of a puddle knows that most of them are kidding themselves. –
– For a terrifying moment I thought he was going to hug me, but fortunately we both remembered we were English just in time. Still, it was a close call. –
– ‘Do you think this is funny?’…’Do you find the murder of American citizens funny?’
I was tempted to tell her it was because we were British and actually had a sense of humour, but I try not to be cruel to foreigners. –
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