It’s similar to an addiction; however, this addiction is socially acceptable. What was this addiction I suffered with you ask? Believe it or not, it was people-pleasing. I can officially say that I am a recovering people-pleaser. It’s a poison and just like a drug addiction, it begins to hide the real you. Your body begins to scream from the inside, your mental state begins to fade, your physical health begins to decline and you find yourself drowning all while attempting to being another’s anchor. So how do we know if we are people-pleasers? Here are a few signs:
- you put other people’s needs before your own
- you allow others to take advantage of your kindness
- you avoid conflict at all costs
- you feel guilty when you take care of yourself
- you find it hard to say ‘NO’
- you do things out of obligation
- you minimize your own feelings and needs
- you compromise your own values if it means others will like you
Is that you?
If so, then I would highly encourage you to read the book that changed my life called Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How To Say No and Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
If you are not a huge book reader, then I would encourage you to follow my beautiful sister-in-love April. You can sign up for her Setting Boundaries: 8 Week Course where she helps guide you to Take. Your. Life. Back
Setting healthy boundaries is a way for caring for yourself. It doesn’t make the person mean, selfish or uncaring. It’s the ability to say “I care and love me too!”. Stress, Anxiety and Depression are huge side effects when we chose to live in the world of only pleasing others. All that will result is another medicine to help you numb emotions because it’s difficult to say “I matter too!”…all while continuing to never feel good enough. It’s one of the most difficult journeys that I’ve been apart of…yet I’ll never turn back. Rumors will stir, relationships will be lost; however, you’re growing. 
“I learned soon enough that God called us to be people-lovers not people-pleasers. We can have the power to love people without becoming a slave to their opinions and behaviors. Boundaries are your responsibility. At some point us people-pleasers must set the tone for how we should be treated and the direction in which WE are called.” ~Brittney Moses
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