- Location matters.
Don’t talk dirty somewhere a person who you don’t want to hear can hear. Taking dirty is about exploring fantasies in a safe environment, so creating the environment matters.
- Timing is everything.
“Like with anything, when and how you do it matters. Do be humorous, but strike a balance. Don’t incorporate dirty talk too early—such as to a total stranger or someone who hasn’t given you signs that he or she is open to it. For that reason.
Subtlety, word play and cleverness go a long way. But don’t force it. You should talk dirty because you’re in the mood and feeling it—not because someone told you to do it as this will come across forced and sometimes sarcastic. Also be aware of the other person’s response to your dirty talk. If the person you’re with gives you a red light, respect it.
- Repetition is also a good trick.
If you are in the heat of passion and land upon a phrase that turns them on, simply repeating it can give it a great sexual intensity and lets them reach orgasm.
- Give feedback.
Give feedback when things are going great. Don’t just leave them hanging when you instruct what you’d like them to do, especially when it comes to oral sex. Let your partner know what’s working and what’s not. Positive reinforcement goes a long way in getting your enjoyment and letting them enjoy giving it to you.
- Make the talk all about him/her.
Talk about how he tastes, how she’s the perfect dirty girl—be specific.
- Talk dirty outside of the bedroom.
Add the dirty talk you both love to notes, private conversations or whispered public exchanges to build anticipation before you get into the bedroom. A naughty word exchange in a public place or workplace can be such a turn on.
- Explore.
Learn some new dirty words —get googling, there’s loads of hints and tips out there.
- Set some boundaries.
Ask your partner if there are certain words they aren’t comfortable with. For example, some guys like being called “daddy,” while others find it creepy. If he’s the latter, accidentally saying that word might ruin your rhythm.
- It’s not exactly what you say, but how you say it.
There’s more to dirty talk than just words. It can also mean incorporating other forms of speech like sighs, moans, and grunts. Plus, as many of you may know, eye contact goes a long way.
- Be yourself.
This might sound so cliché, but it applies to sex as well. Dirty talk works best when you’re comfortable and confident, which is the complete opposite of how you feel when you think you have to put on a big show. If he’s a man worth your time, he probably won’t expect you to be a porn star. You don’t have to say things you don’t mean. For example, if he doesn’t have a huge dick, he probably knows it. And if you focus on how big he is while you’re talking dirty, he’ll know it isn’t genuine.
- Start slow.
Contrary to popular belief, dirty talk isn’t about stringing a bunch of vulgarities together (although you totally could). It can be as simple as, “You taste so good,” or “You can have me any way you want,” or “Keep doing that.” From there, you can start adding swear or slang words—if that’s something you’re comfortable with. But if you’re really afraid, you can always send him a naughty text first and see how that goes.
- Be descriptive.
Compliment your partner and give him an ego boost. Talk about his body; tell him which part is your favorite. You could also tell your partner what you want to do to or with them before you do it, and then tell them what you love about it while it’s happening. Also, don’t neglect your other senses! Do you like the way he tastes? Do you love the sounds he makes? Consider all your options.
Don’t talk about Dirty Sanchezing her bearded clam or use red flag words, says Valentine. Pussy is better than twat. Word choice matters. Don’t be unnecessarily clinical or explicit; nothing is going to make a guy softer (or a girl drier) than talking about volumetric blood flow to the genital region.
Do be descriptive. Details make stories come to life, and essentially, talking dirty is all about details.
