You are only one decision away from a totally different life. – Mark Batterson
I picked up the phone and dialed my boss. As it rang, my heart began to pound loudly in my chest. It was difficult to breathe. I hoped I could speak when she answered. What was I doing? This was a life-changing, holy cow sort of moment.
Vomit made its way to the back of my throat. After brief salutations, I swallowed hard and pushed send on my email resignation letter. There was an understandable moment of silence. I had been in a successful management capacity with the organization for almost nine years and had given no indication of my impending departure.
Boss – “OK. Ummmm….this is unexpected. Where are you going?” Her voice sounded hurt and panicked.
Me – “Actually, no where. I’ve decided to retire from banking and become a goat farmer.”
Boss – …
Me – “And pursue my photography business full-time of course”.
Boss – …
Me – “And I will probably have chickens and maybe bees, too!”
Boss – …
Me – “Hello?”
Boss – “OK then! Well, this isn’t what I…ummm, I’m not sure how to….May I call you back shortly?”
That was the moment that marked the actual beginning of my journey. The moment that things transitioned from dreams and simply discussions with my hubby to a step towards a goal. An actual life-changing goal.
I’ve never been afraid of hard work. I spent my early adult years working full-time while going to school at night. Luckily, I met my wonderful husband early in life and we conquered obstacles together with amazing team work. We triumphed through three children (including a set of twins), four houses, multiple jobs/promotions, owning a small business, a move across country (from NY to TX) and everything in between. What can I say, we just worked. All the time.
Fast forward to almost two decades later and a short time before that life changing phone call. I found myself feeling trapped in “Groundhog Day”. My life was a well oiled machine, but I thirsted for knowledge and ways to grow. My days began to include searches for life quotes, life “tips” and reading articles on things that people regret on their death-bed.
What was wrong with me? I didn’t have a miserable life, or even a below average one. My career path was strong and stable, yet I still found time for new adventures and fun outside of work. I had a great network of friends that included folks we considered our “Texas family”. My husband and I were still deeply in love after twenty years and my children were beautiful, happy and intelligent. My house was gorgeous and even included a breathtaking backyard oasis. So why, oh why, did I have these crazy thoughts of changing everything? Isn’t that kind of thinking for people who are in misery? I was far from that!
During some serious soul-searching, I discovered I felt happiest and most fulfilled when I was shooting (photography). I knew that as long as I was passionate, the money would follow. I had to have faith. If I was able to stay home and focus my energy on photography, I would free up more time to be with my children. We wouldn’t be bound by “vacation days”, so we could see my NY family whenever we desired. I think I had finally found what I wanted.
One evening, I looked into the stars and stated my plan. I’m not sure “who” or “what” was listening, but I let the universe know I was going to resign from my job (an irreversible and potentially financially devastating decision). I needed the universe to know I was serious, and resigning before I had anything else lined up seemed the way to do it. It made the progression of change inevitable.
Later that evening, I stumbled across a video about fainting goats and immediately fell in love with their little faces. Maybe, oh, maybe, I could be a photographer and have a small homestead, too! Goat farming? Poop? Dirt? For anyone that knows me, these things are FAR from anything you would associate with me. The thought of goat farming was so far-fetched, it scared me….and I liked it. I was excited to learn about something that I knew ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about. While I considered myself an expert in the banking industry, you might say I was a moron when it came to farming. Welcome to the beginning of Moore On Farm.
In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take. – Author Unknown
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