Richard was at Rafi’s place almost in a blink of an eye. While driving there, he was very apprehensive and fearing the worst when he get to see his sister. He was relieved that at least he was already in Tagaytay so he could reach her place in no time.
Richard heaved a sigh when his sister came to the door to let him in. Her eyes were red and puffy, and the box of Kleenex on the side was getting depleted. Crumpled balls littered the floor. Her bare feet peeked out from her long terry cloth robe, an old favorite she used to wear around the house when she needed comfort. Richard watched his sister and tried not to panic.He flexed his fingers and focused on remaining calm. He’d stay all day and all night if possible. Hell, she could move back into his apartment, get her old job back, and leave Tagaytay behind. He’d do anything in his power to make her feel better.
Her lower lip trembled when she finally looked at him. “I feel so stupid,” she sniffed. “He kept pushing us to spend more time together. Asked me to spend the night. Invited me to his class to speak. I knew Maya was right when she mentioned we were moving too fast, but I was so happy I just wanted to believe it would work.”
Helplessness rattled his core. “Wala kang kasalanan; the guy led you on and dumped you without a hitch. Maya should’ve seen this coming. Why was he a client there anyway? And why the hell would she have set you up with him?”
“Not Maya’s fault. I could’ve picked Charlie, who also seemed super nice, but Brian had a bit more edge, which I thought was exciting. Doris warned me in counseling not to leap too soon. She said I tended to do that in my past as a way of ignoring some of my blocks and hang-ups.”
He growled under his breath. “You’re fine the way you are. That asshole is the one with a problem.”
A watery smile curved her lips. “Thank you, Kuya. I’m so sorry I dragged you out of bed this early. Nasanay na kasi akong ikaw agad ang tinatawagan ko when I’m in trouble. Hard habit to break, I guess.”
“That’s what I’m here for, Rafi. To take care of you. Listen, naisip ko na kung anong dapat nating gawin. You can move back in with me and get back on your feet. I’ll get your money back from Kinnect and you start with a clean slate. Hell, I bet your old job will beg you to come back.”
Rafi frowned. “Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo, Kuya? I’m not moving back in with you.”
He leaned forward and rested his hands on his knees. “Pansamantala lang, not permanently. Oh, I’ve got a better idea. Bakit hindi tayo magbakasyon muna? Para maka-recover ka kaagad. Ako na ang bahala sa mga gamit mo dito. I’ll have the movers take care of your apartment, and we’ll pretend the whole thing never happened.”
Her eyes widened like she was staring at a troll rather than at her brother. “Are you crazy? I love my job, and I love Tagaytay. I don’t need a vacation.”
He tried to speak gently. “You shouldn’t be alone right now. Not after what he did to you.”
She shook her head hard. “No, Kuya. I think you misunderstood. Yeah, I’m pissed and upset that Brian ended up being a jerk. I didn’t see it coming. But I’ll be fine. That’s what women do. Bitch, cry, eat ice cream, get drunk. The girls at Kinnect showed me I can be normal, let my emotions run free, and still be okay. I’m not having a breakdown, and I’m sure I’ll get right back in the dating scene once I get over this.”
He gritted his teeth and tried not to lose his temper. What were they selling over there at Kinnect? Didn’t they realize she was fragile? When her relationships ended, she plunged into a black hole of blame, thinking she’d never be enough. He’d learned to avoid the minefields by protecting her, but after the suicide attempt, he never allowed her to stray too far. Yes, she’d finished years of therapy and declared her independence, but what if she was at the tipping point and he failed her? “I’m glad you’re being reasonable about this, I really am. But I think it would be better if you stay with me for a little while.”
Her tears dried and her chin lifted. Uh-oh. That tone snapped into place and suddenly she didn’t seem fragile at all. “I’m not going anywhere. God, this is my fault. I should never have called you.”
Richard flinched. “No, I’m glad you called me. I want to be there for you.”
“Listen, love sucks sometimes. Doesn’t mean I don’t believe it won’t eventually work in the end. I’ll always regret putting you through an emotional roller coaster, and I know you want to protect me. Pero hindi ko na kailangan ang tulong mo. Not with this. I can handle this on my own now.”
He studied her for a long while. He’d always thought she was like a delicate china, yet . . . she didn’t seem that breakable now. Not like before. Was it possible her strength was greater than he gave her credit for? That somehow, along the way, she’d blossomed into a full woman who could handle life’s curveballs on her own? “I don’t want to let you down again,” he whispered.
Rafi blinked back tears. “For goodness sake, Kuya, are you kidding me? You’re the only one who never let me down. The reason I can believe in love, that I believe in myself, is because of you. You taught me that. I watched you through your marital problems, through Mom’s and Dad’s deaths, through years of counseling brokenhearted couples in your career. You never lost your heart. You’re a caretaker, and now I’m ready to take the reins. Do you understand? You’re the one who saved me.”
Her words reached deep and broke open a mass of emotions he’d pushed down for years. The truth stunned him, the idea she could actually believe in him, that somehow along the way, he’d done something right and good. His throat tightened and it was a while before he could speak. “Thank you.”
She smiled at him, her face open and lit and beautiful. “You’re welcome. Now, as the best-friend cliché you’ve now become, would you run out and get us some breakfast? Hindi kasi ako nakapag-grocery kagabi. Parang gusto ko ng tapsilog at saka corned beef. Gusto ko din ng pancake. May Jollibee diyan sa may kanto. Oh, pakibili na rin ako ng cappuccino sa Starbucks, malapit lang din doon sa Jollibee. Bahala ka na kung anong gusto mong kainin at inumin!”
Richard chuckled. “Done. Bibili na rin ako ng ube ensaymada doon sa Goldilocks para meron kang pang snacks mamaya. May iba ka pa bang gustong kainin?”
“I think tama na ‘yun. Ikaw, you probably haven’t eaten yet. Hey, paano ka nga palang nakarating dito agad-agad? Ang bilis mo ah. It took you under ten minutes. Where were you?”
The image of Maya naked and sprawled on top of him, taking him deep within her body, flashed before him. “Umm, stopped by to see Maya about something.”
A tiny frown creased her brow. “This early?”
“Yep. I’ll get going.”
“Stop right there, buddy.” Rafi crossed her arms and studied him with the scary teacher look that made him shake. “Holy macaroni! You’re sleeping with her!”
He clenched his jaw. “Was. Not anymore.”
“Oh my God, I didn’t see this coming. But in a weird way, you’re perfect for one another.”
Richard gave a bitter laugh. “Hardly. I don’t think they can create two people who are so completely different. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Did Maya say anything about having a special gift? When she set you up with Brian, did she, uh, touch you or say she felt a spark between you two?”
Rafi shook her head. “Nope. I never heard anything like that. They use a pretty scientific approach. On paper and from a few conversations, Brian seemed perfect. But they warned me well in advance that it’s a journey that could take some time. And I’m okay with that.”
“Good. I’ll be back with the breakfast.”
He headed out the door and wondered if he had made a huge mistake. Blaming Maya for his sister hadn’t been right. They were both right: there were no guarantees. Kinnect did nothing wrong except believe in something his sister did, and he had no right to blame Maya or hold her responsible for what happened.
His head throbbed when he thought of the way he’d left. Two out of two in the dickhead department. But it had just been too much for him to handle. First, her mother, then a magical power, then Rafi. And where did that leave them?
Richard didn’t know. And for the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do about it.
*******
Let me get this straight. You sleep with him. Break it off in the morning. Decide to go your separate ways and set him up with another date. Then he shows up at your doorstep right after said date, and you sleep together for the second time. Then break up in the morning. Again. Tama ba ako?”
Maya lowered her forehead to the cool granite and groaned. Sunday morning and twenty-four hours since the episode. She hadn’t slept or changed out of her ratty pjs. And a shower was definitely on the agenda. “Yep, that about covers it.”
Liza shoved the last of the crumb cake in her mouth and chewed. “Ay, nawindang na nga ang utak mo, bff. You’ve lost your mind along with your virginity.”
“I know. He freaked out when he found out about the touch. Didn’t believe me, which I can’t blame him for, but still. Ngayon naman, iniisip niyang ako ang may kasalanan sa nangyari kay Rafi. I desperately want to speak to Rafi and check on her but I’ve been afraid to call her because her brother was so upset.”
Liza tapped her finger against her mug of coffee. “Hayaan mo muna sila ngayon. Looks like he’s the overprotective type. Bigyan mo muna siya ng mga ilang araw para lumipas ang init ng ulo. Pagkatapos, kung hindi pa rin tumawag si Rafi sa iyo, ikaw na ang tumawag sa kanya.”
“Hindi ko nga maintindihan. Rafi was doing so well. But Richard acted like she was going off the deep end after he’s spoken to her on the phone. I knew she and Brian should’ve slowed down. Why didn’t I make them listen?”
“You can only lead the horses to the water, bff. Can’t make ’em drink.”
“Sabagay. Naku, I’m sorry, I’m always babbling about my problems. Ikaw, kumusta ka na? How’s James?”
“Don’t be silly. I’m your bff, siyempre gusto ko nasa tabi mo ako when you’re feeling down. I’m sure if our roles were reversed, gugustuhin mo rin na nasa tabi ko.” Liza assured her.
“I know. Pero tell me, okay ka lang din ba? You and James I mean? I’ve noticed that you don’t look your usual self lately. You will let me know if there’s anything that’s bothering you, won’t you?” Maya persisted.
Liza looked at her friend as if she was debating whether to say something or not. She then smiled at her friend and pat her hands on the table. “Sure. Pagod lang ako lagi lately, what with all the work that needed to be done at the hospital. It’s a bit overwhelming.”
“I can imagine.” Liza avoided her gaze, concentrating on the pancake she brought for her friend, and once again Maya felt that twinge of foreboding slither down her spine. “He’s good to you, right? I mean, he’s not overbearing or pushing you to do too many things to the point of exhaustion. If he is, you need to tell him and be firm about it.”
“No, he’s perfect for me, and sweet. Loves to spoil me rotten and yes, he’s a bit pushy at times, but it’s to make me better.”
All the right words, yet… Maya still felt she was missing something. There were shadows lurking in her best friend’s eyes she’d never glimpsed before. She’s never offered Liza to use the touch to check if James is the right man for her because Liza never asked her to. Maya reckons that if Liza had to ask, then it is likely that James isn’t her soulmate because if he is, Liza would, without a doubt, feel it. She will feel complete and ecstatic. Unlike what she looks like at the moment. Anyway, even if she wants to, she won’t be able to help her friend with the touch because it is gone now.
As if reading what’s on her friend’s mind, Liza asked, “Maiba ako, have you got back the touch now?”
“I still feel it with Richard but I’ve not tried it with other people since last time. I have a feeling that it’s not yet back.”
“Ah, ganun ba?” Liza grabbed the napkin, slugged a last sip of coffee, and slid off the chair. “Sorry, I gotta run back to the hospital. Listen, Maya, alam kong sa ngayon ay medyo magulo at nakakalito ang pangyayari but I’m going to tell you one thing: I’ve never seen you look so happy before.”
“Masaya ba ito?”
Her friend laughed. “You glow when you speak his name. You gave him your virginity and actually experienced the touch for the first time. He’s special. I know there seem to be obstacles, and he says he doesn’t believe in love, but have you given him a real chance? A fighting chance?”
Maya frowned. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Liza’s beeper went off like a fire alarm and she stiffened. “That’s James. I’m being paged. Kailangan ko nang bumalik sa ospital. We’ll talk later. Thanks for the coffee.”
She shot out the door. Bobby barely moved his head, used to the quick comings and goings of her friend. Maya thought about her words and cleaned up the kitchen. Odd. Richard already knew she had deep feelings for him, though she kept trying to fight them back and bury them deep. No sense in sharing when there would be no reciprocation or interest in moving forward and she’d be damned if she let him see how hurt she is by that fact. Maybe she’d curl up on the recliner and spend the afternoon doing nothing but watching movies and reading books. Paperwork could wait. Gym could be delayed. Nothing seemed that important.
The door slammed open. Maya looked up, startled, and frowned when her mother shot through. “Mom! Anong nangyari? Ba’t kayo napasugod ulit? Are you okay?” she asked, moving forward. “You’ve never come to see me twice in one weekend.”
Teresita crossed the room and clasped Maya’s upper arms. Her light brown eyes were wide and full of fear. “I had a dream.”
Maya fought a smile. “Did you watch the planet get swallowed up by plastic bags and diapers again? Huwag na kayong mag-alala, Mommy. Marunong ng mag-recycle ang mga tao ngayon.”
“No, silly girl, ikaw ang napanaginipan ko. I dreamt you denied the touch with Richard and your entire life was ruined. One bad choice and you never recovered. Ano bang nangyari pagkaalis ko kahapon?”
Unease shot through her. Great, she would be the cat lady or perhaps she’d instead be a dog lady since she’d always been more of a dog person. Maya sighed. “Ayokong nag-aalala kayo ng ganyan para sa akin, Mommy. Richard isn’t meant for me. Hindi siya naniniwala sa love, marriage, or forever. He believes in oxytocin.”
Her mother shook her slightly with impatience. “Wala akong pakialam kung ano ang paniniwala niya. Ang importante sa akin ay ang paniniwala mo and what actions are you going to take. Sinabi mo ba sa kanya na mahal mo siya? Na ipaglalaban mo ang nararamdaman mo para sa kanya and that you believe enough for the both of you?”
Panic flared. She broke the grip and stepped back, needing the distance. “Mommy naman, siyempre hindi. Women don’t do those things. Besides, I’m sure it’s for the best.”
Her heart shattered and screamed her a liar. Her body ached and punished her. And her mother let out a shriek of frustration Maya had never heard before. Teresita was like a river. She flowed and melted, becoming one with every challenge in life and rarely fought against the tide. She had always remained calm but now, the woman before her quaked, her aura vibrating so wildly Maya would’ve given her her own herbal cigarette if she had one, to calm her down. “Mommy, what’s wrong?”
“Anong nangyayari sa iyo, anak?” Teresita whispered. “When did you stop believing in yourself? In your gift? In what you deserve?”
Emotion choked her. She couldn’t handle this; it was too close to home. “I tried. Alam niyang may nararamdaman ako para sa kanya, and he’s been honest about what he can and can’t handle. But now he thinks I’ve screwed up his sister and that I’m a liar. And as for my gift of touch? I didn’t want to tell you, but it’s gone. Hindi ko na ito maramdaman at hindi ko alam kung babalik pa ito ulit kaya please, Mom, I need you to drop this.”
“No. Makinig kang mabuti sa akin, anak, and don’t interrupt. Maupo ka lang diyan.” Her mother pointed to the chair. Maya trudged over, sat down, and waited. She’d learned long ago not to argue when her mother wanted to have an open discussion. “It’s time to stop running, Maya. You say you lost your gift. Kailan pa?”
“After I discovered Richard and I connected. That was the last time I felt anything. I’ve been numb, even around couples who are married and have a connection that I confirmed before, I get nothing.”
“But you still feel the touch with Richard?”
She nodded. “I thought I was blocking myself by denying our attraction. So I slept with him. I thought I’d get it back, but that didn’t help either. My gift is gone.”
Teresita pursed her lips. “Your gift is being denied, my darling girl. You are the first one in generations to feel this with other people. Most of the women who own the touch can only sense it with her true mate. You have been blessed to spread your knowledge to the world. But when confronted by your own truth, you chose to run and hide. Wrapping it up in sex, having rational conversations about how things can’t work between you. You’ve lost your way.”
Maya rubbed her temples. “Hindi ninyo naiintindihan, Mommy. Wala akong itinago. I told Richard I believed in love and wanted forever. He said he can’t give that to me. We went our separate ways and that was it. Over and out.”
“Sinabi mo ba sa kanya na mahal mo siya?”
Maya froze. “N-n-no. There’s no point.”
Her mother squinted with intensity. “No point in confessing the truth to the man you love? Pinalaki ba kitang duwag?”
Maya flinched. “Para ano? So he could say ‘thanks very much, but it’s not going to work out’? So he can take the last shred of my pride and leave me broken and bleeding? No thanks.”
“That is pride talking, anak. Between you two, you are the one who knows the truth, that you are soulmates because the touch led you. That’s why you have to be the bigger person. You need to make him understand and the way to do that is to be honest with him at least. There is no halfway, anak, no safe place to hide when it comes to love. You are luckier than most to be guided to the man meant for you. By denying the truth, or making light of the connection, you deny the gift, yourself, and are no longer worthy of it.”
The words hit her hard, like brutal jabs in the boxing ring, and Maya felt something inside begin to break. Hadn’t she been clear enough about how she felt? Hadn’t she fought enough? Or was her mother right? She’d rationalized and pushed him away and only allowed him into her bed, not her heart. She’d steadfastly guarded her heart not to fully let him in because she believed that he will only break it because of his beliefs. She’d never stood her ground and challenged his ridiculous beliefs.
“I don’t know what to do, Mom,” she choked out. “He can break my heart if I let him in and I’m scared.”
“How does he make you feel?”
She dragged in a breath. “Like my better self. He lights up my body, and satisfies my soul. He makes me laugh. He loves Bobby and wants to take care of him. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and I’ve never been so terrified.”
Teresita moved over, took her hand, and squeezed it tight. “You must be fierce and admit to love, my dear girl. It is the only way to win. And if you do lose, well, at least you lose fairly, with your head high and with no regrets. How could you possibly feel shame for leading with your heart? It is simply the bravest thing anyone can do in this world. It is what you based your business on, and your livelihood.”
The truth took root, shook her to the core, and grew. In that moment, she realized every step in her journey had been halfhearted. But no longer. She was worthy of more.
Maya reached up and hugged her mother tight. “I love you, Mom. Thank you.”
“Welcome. Now go get your man.
*******
“We’ve got a problem.”
Richard studied his boss, who perched behind the sprawling teak desk with a look of concern on his face. Shit. First, his personal life, now his career. Was he upset he’d left early those few days? No, Ramon usually let his employees run their own schedules, confident they’d get the job done. Had he realized his relationship with Maya was a big fat lie? Had Ivy gotten nailed for the speeding ticket? Richard adjusted his cuffs. “What is it, Ramon?” he asked calmly.
Relief loosened his chest. That he could handle. “I had a client who wants to pay on the back end once I win the case. Forgot to tell you. I’ll send you the details as soon as I get back in my office.”
Ramon shook his head. “Can’t do it. I told the associates you bill up front now. Too many pro bono and cases lost in the firm.”
Annoyance surged through him. “Have I ever cost you money on a case? I need some leeway on this one. Guy’s wife froze the accounts and he’s in a hell of a fix. Needs custody rights. I’ll win.”
“I don’t doubt it. But no more sob stories. His story is no different to a million others coming through those doors. Look, I understand you want to do good by him, but he’s got to pay the bill. If I didn’t want to make money, I’d be working for the attorney general’s office or be a not-for-profit lawyer.”
Richard swallowed his frustration and tried to look at the big picture. But God, he was so tired of it. He wanted to do one thing for a person who needed it, and his hands were always tied. “Fine. I’ll pay for this one out of my salary. Dock my pay.”
Ramon lifted a brow. “A bit extreme for someone you don’t know. Ano bang nangyayari sa ‘yo lately? I’m deciding on partner soon, and I need not just someone who is good at law but also have a good business head. This is a brutal business—eats you up and spits you out. If you can’t handle it, I think Ryan may have the edge.”
His boss’s gaze was razor sharp and Richard knew it was a test. Did he have what it took? The goal of partnership had been his sole focus for the last five years, but suddenly his future flashed before him and it was all more of the same. More work, more stress, and less satisfaction. The challenge was on the table for him to pick up. Cut the client loose and gain Ramon’s respect. He sensed he had an edge over Ryan. One tiny agreement and it was all over.
“I lied, Ramon.”
His boss stared at him hard. “About?”
“Maya. We never had a relationship. I asked her to pose as my girlfriend because I knew you favored executives who are settled. She’s not an accountant, her father’s no court judge, and she owns a company called Kinnect.”
Ramon frowned and shook his head. “Wasn’t that the name of her accounting firm?”
“No, she’s the owner of a matchmaking agency. I set the whole thing up because I wanted to beat Ryan. I’ve wanted that damn partnership for years, and I wasn’t about to let not having a relationship stop me from getting it.”
Silence fell. A lightness filled his chest, and he waited for the fallout. Would Ramon fire him? Maybe. Throw him out as a contender? Probably. At least he didn’t have to pretend to be someone he wasn’t.
Ramon threw back his head and laughed. “I’ve seen creative moves before to climb to the top, but this is a first. We had no idea. In fact, my wife was so crazy about Maya, we were going to invite her to dinner this week. You got us good. And though I’m pissed you lied, I have to give you credit for ambition. That’s the type of man we want, Richard. You saw the problem, thought of a solution, and went for it. Too bad, though. Ivy’s gonna get nailed for that ticket.”
Richard managed to catch his surprised gasp and turn it into a badass grin. “I’m glad you’re not upset. And I’m sorry if I put you in an awkward position.”
Ramon cut his hand through the air. “Nothing I can’t handle. Appreciate you coming clean before I made my decision.”
“I’m not giving up this case, Ramon. It won’t affect my caseload or billing hours, but I want it.”
His boss let out a breath. “Fine, take it. You’ve always been a stubborn son a bitch. Just make sure you win.”
“I will. Thanks.” He got up and headed toward the door when he heard his name. “Yeah?”
Ramon’s eyes twinkled. “Let’s just say I think you’ll be happy with my final decision on partnership by the end of the week.”
The meaning was clear. As Richard left the office, his head spun. Damn. He’d snagged the position. But as he strode down the hallway, a giant emptiness pulsed in his gut, a need for a woman he’d pushed away, and a question if he’d ever feel satisfied again
*******
Richard just parked his car in his usual parking space at his condo when he noticed Maya’s car parked in the area. He was puzzled but a sudden feeling of excitement washed over him and he quickened his steps towards the building. He wanted to see her. A few times he almost gave in to his desire of going to Tagaytay just to get a glimpse of her but he chickens out at the last minute. He still doesn’t know what to tell her when he eventually see her but all he knows is that he wanted to see her. Desperately.
Maya waited in the waiting lounge of Richard’s condo. She glanced at her watch again and hoped he wasn’t working too late. She’d already been sitting for an hour, and with every minute that ticked by, she’d been tempted to dump the plan and hurry back home. Nothing like a big love confession to freak a woman out.
“Maya?”
She turned her head to the right and her heart leaped. He was so handsome. His towering length and lean muscles filled out the charcoal gray designer suit he was wearing, his snowy white shirt and slim, black tie cutting a sharp image. He’d probably gone to court. Lines bracketed his mouth and his eyes, hinting at his fatigue. The rimmed glasses gave him the scholarly look that only made him sexier. She stood up and drank him in with her gaze, her body already alight with the need to touch him, push back his hair, caress his hard cheek. She swallowed. “I need to talk to you.”
He nodded. “Come inside.”
They went to the elevator in silence then walked toward his apartment. As soon as they entered his apartment, Maya noticed the silence of the empty rooms that pulsed with a hunger for noise and laughter and mess. Why hadn’t she seen this before? The way he controlled his life and kept people at a safe distance so he’d never be tempted to fail? Just like her.
“Can I get you something to drink? Eat?”
“No.”
“Do you want to sit down? I’m sorry I’m late, I had a court date.”
Maya still didn’t answer, instead she kept on looking at him intently.
“Maya, about that day. I know I sound like a broken record but I really am very sorry. I seem to act like a dipshit everytime I come to you. That was so unfair blaming you for what happened to Rafi. I will understand if you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me ever…”
“I love you.” Maya blurted
He stiffened. Ah, crap, leave it to her to blurt something out with no finesse. She completely sucked at good love confessions so she’d better backtrack. Was that horror, shock, or pleasure on his face? He looked as if he’d gotten hit over the head with a brick.
His voice broke. “Maya, I—”
“No, please listen to me first.” She wiped her palms on her jeans and closed the distance between them. His delicious scent swamped her senses, spice and a hint of citrus. She curled her hands into tight fists to keep from reaching out. “I accused you of being a coward, but I’m the one who’s been holding back. From the moment we touched, I sensed you were the man for me. But it’s so much more than physical. I hid behind your conceptions of relationships and your refusal to believe we could work long-term. But I believe enough for both of us, Richard.”
She surrendered to impulse and touched him. Her fingers closed over his shoulders. The heat pulsed and danced between them, confirming her heart’s choice. “I want you to give us a chance. I’ve seen the man you are. How you protect and take care of your sister. Your gentleness with Bobby. How you fight for your clients and try to make them hurt a little less. And the way you look at me when we make love.” She stood on tiptoes and cupped his cheeks, staring into his beloved face. His slanted eyes swirled with desire, confusion, fear. “I love every damn part of you, your body and heart and soul. I love your mind and your stubbornness and your humor. Give us a chance to be more. Give me a chance to love you in the way you deserve.”
For a moment, strong feelings of hunger and regret fought within Richard until he surrendered to the former and reached out for her. She, in turn, didn’t hesitate, pulled his head down to hers and kissed him with all her pent-up longing and emotion. He groaned and opened his lips, his tongue sweeping inside and drinking deeply. He kissed her for a long time, conquering every part of her mouth until there was nothing left to give. When he ripped his mouth from hers, a mad light gleamed in his eyes.
A joyous laugh broke from her chest. She had won. He was hers.
Maya reached up for more, but he staggered back. Stark regret carved out the lines of his face, even as she noted his full erection and the hot need in his gaze. “I can’t, Maya. Dear God, I can’t do this to you, won’t hurt you and break your heart. I love you too, I do, but I can’t follow this road. I’ve seen what love turns into, in the end. Eventually, we’ll hurt each other, and I’d rather die than hurt you.”
Red-hot anger misted her vision. She trembled with a rage of emotion. “You’ll deny both of us our happiness for a future we know nothing about? What about the relationships that do work? Don’t you want to take the chance on us? The chance to be a family and wake up in each other’s arms every morning? Or are you afraid to settle with me in case there’s a better option later?”
He snapped his jaw closed. “Don’t say that. That is absolutely not true. I’m crazy about you and you know it. Since the moment we met I’ve been trying to supress it and when I can’t, I tried to downplay it but I was helpless. I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“Because you want everything!”
She sucked in her breath. He jerked back, pushing his hand through his hair. The silence squeezed with merciless tension, and Maya finally realized she had come here to win, but he had already made his choice. Raw pain rose from her gut and choked, but she managed to wrestle out her last words.
“Tama ka. I do want everything and I didn’t think that is too much to ask because I believed we’re both worth it. I’m sorry you don’t.”
“Maya.”
Her name was a good-bye, a plea, a prayer. Her eyes were bone dry as she stared at him. “Good-bye, Richard.”
This time he didn’t stop her. She walked out of his apartment for the last time and knew he had chosen.
To be continued
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