I am the girl who watches the movie A Walk to Remember again and again and tearing up every time as Landon Carter says,
“But our love is like the wind, I can’t see it, but I can feel it”.
My heart already feels like breaking just by typing the quote.
I am the girl who would listen to the song Amazed by Lonestar again and again and imagining my special someone will gift this song to me, in any way he is able to.
I don’t know how you do what you do, I’m so in love with you, you just keep getting better.
I wanna spend the rest of my life, with you by my side, forever and ever.
Every little thing that you do, baby, I’m amazed by you.
I am the girl who gives out soft sobs during the climax scene in Tangled movie when Flynn Rider (or Eugene) said to Rapunzel with his dying breath,
“Rapunzel, you were my new dream” and then Rapunzel replied,
“and you were mine”.
Yes, yes, I’m a romantic and I’m hopeless, I know but what can I do? I feel emotions so much more than the average person. I am emotionally sensitive and I empathize with others too much. My besties always feel worried about me and advise me to stop thinking about others too much and start caring about myself more once in a while. This is because there were cases of people taking advantage of my kindness.
And another con from being a hopeless romantic is when I fell in love with someone, I fell hard. He will be everything in my life, and my world will revolve around him.
This is a story of my first crush while entering adulthood. You should have realized by now that this story gonna have a sad ending because it is about a crush. It is called a ‘crush’ when the person you love doesn’t return your feeling. But, it is a sweet memory for me nonetheless.
I went to Penang Matriculation College after high school to further my study. In Malaysia, to have a diploma usually takes 3 years but if you choose to further study in Matriculation, the course will be shortened to 1 to 2 years and you can go straight to study your degree using your Matriculation certificate.
It was my first day at the college, and I was a bit late finding the location of my first class. As I reached the class, it was already filled by other students and I can’t find any vacant places where the girls were seated. The tables were positioned 4 tables per spot with each two tables were side by side and facing each other.
I only saw one unoccupied spot and it was among these three guys so I just walked to them and took my seat at the empty table. My table was facing this one guy and just like in the movies, I was instantly attracted to him. His skin was fair, with an oval shaped-face, strong jaw and black hair that was cut short but not too short. He had this intense pair of eyebrows but his eyes were soft with large pupils, almost child-like and the most interesting feature of his face was a thin layer of facial hair above his upper lips and also on his chin. He wore a bashful expression as I seated facing him, a shy guy, I presumed in my mind. Although he had an innocent face, his physical built was otherwise. He was tall, I managed to know his height later and it was around 5’8′ (about 178 cm), his shoulders were broad and even with a slim waist, he had an athletic built. He was wearing a white long sleeve shirt with thin vertical black stripes.
Imagine this picture of Dylan O’Brien with a bit of facial hair. Yup, that’s how my crush looks like.
In my eyes, he was very, very good-looking. He took my breath away (exaggerating much?). Let’s call him Farish (attention, this is not his real name!).
You know that feeling when you suddenly realize you have an ideal type, the type of girl or a guy that you feel attracted to? It was a revelation for me the moment I saw him.
I was very active back in school so I thought I should focus more on my study during my matriculation. I didn’t plan to hold any position on the first day of class! But, I guess my easy-going nature attracted my classmates during the ice breaking session that I was one of the candidates for Practicum Vice Leader position (in Matriculation, the class is called Practicum). I honestly told my classmates that I didn’t wish to hold any important position in the practicum so I was chosen as the Vice Leader Assistant instead and another girl became the Vice Leader.
During the first few months, every time we have lessons in practicum classes or lab works, I was asked by the Vice Leader to talk to Farish if there were any issues regarding him. For example, if he was the last one who had not send an assignment or perhaps one of the lecturers wanted to meet him after class. Farish had a mysterious aura about him. He talked to the girls only when it was necessary and he preferred to stay quiet in class. If there were group assignments, most of the girls tried to avoid teaming up with him because they were unable to talk to him comfortably.
My best friend in the class, Hanim and I were the few girls who actually able to talk to him more than the others. Hanim had no problem talking to him at all, she had this very outgoing personality that made her talked to everyone around her like they were her old friends. But for me, I blushed as I tried to talk to him. I felt my face heating up every time but I did the best I could to hide my feelings.
I managed to exchange phone numbers with him after this one time we were teamed up together for an assignment.
This first crush story has not ended yet, can’t wait to know what happened next? Continue to read about it in Part 2, yeah! Lots of love, xoxo!
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