There is a quote I live by which is “You are alone but you are not lonely, unless you choose to feel like it.” I don’t know who said it or where I heard it from, however I love the simplicity and the truth of it. Battling depression often makes me feel so alone and as if there is no one who will ever understand me however this is not the case. I’ve found that there are so many people from different parts of my life who are finding themselves relating to my situation and finding comfort in the way I speak about issues which is 100% what I aim to do!
Another quote I read in a book called Will Grayson, Will Grayson is “I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me” and this is the first quote which made me smile when I found myself in this horrible place, because it’s true. I was struggling to understand wether or not it was me who was the problem, or if everyone around me were causing the problem. If you know me personally and well enough, you’ll know that I have a dark sense of humour so any kind of joke in relation to death will probably make me laugh – simply because from being depressed, I told myself I wasn’t scared of dying. I was more scared of being alone and that was an odd feeling, because I know if it came to life or death? I’d be shit scared of death.
From Looking For Alaska, one of the greatest books of all time written by one of the best authors of all time, John Green, comes another incredible quote. “The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” This is something I have only managed to fully understand in the last couple of months. It’s okay to forgive those who have hurt you in the worst ways because holding onto the negative energy and the anger is much more damaging that just accepting what happened and saying “I forgive you”. You don’t have to forget or even like what happened, but forgiving someone and accepting it to be what it truly is helps me to move on with my life and my recovery.
The final quote comes from my Dad and he tells me this in every single situation that I find hard, “it can be fixed”. Everything can be fixed. My car broke and I thought it was the end of the world – but we got it fixed. I felt I couldn’t cope in my own thoughts any more and I didn’t know how to get through every day – he helped me fix that. Every single situation has got a solution to making it better. It might not be the solution you want in the moment, but in the long run it’ll help.
Remember, the great John Lennon said “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” – and it’s damn well true.
Lulabelle, XO.
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