What if? What will happen if? What will be? How? Why? And when? These are the questions that scare me a lot. I have so many arguments in my mind, why is my so weak that I can’t even face the consequences when I make decisions for myself? Why am I so bothered that I can’t even trust myself to go on and do what I want and need to. Is the opportunity too big for me or am I just lacking for confidence and making my faith smaller than my fears and what if’s.
There’ s this one night I’m doing my night devo, I asked God, ” Lord, what do you want me to do? I want to open up my heart to because even me, myself I don’t understand what I want to say, what I want to ask. I’m so down.” and immediately I received his word in,
Jesus went on to say,” In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little ‘while you will see me.” John 16:16 (the disciples’ grief will turn to joy)
Then suddenly I felt frozen. The first thing that came in my mind, Jesus why? Why in times like this, I’m in pain, I’m grieving, I need someone who can understand me. Why do you need to say that i will no longer see you? Because I’m emotionally driven I keep on asking why. But I keep on reading,
At this, some of his disciples said to one another,” What does he mean by saying, ” In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me,’ and Because I am going to the Father’? They keep asking ”What does he mean by ‘a little while’? We don’t understand what he is saying.” John 16:17-18
As I continually read the passage, like the Jesus’ disciples I also got confused at first, but suddenly, I felt God is touching my heart and telling me ” my dear one, trust me on this. Just trust me”.
Jesus saw that they wanted to ask him about this, so he said to them,” Are you asking one another what I meant when I said,” In a little while you will see me no more and then after a little while you will see me? Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. – ‘So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.- John 16:19-20,21-24
And there I clearly hear the word of God, that what I need to do is to trust in Him when all else fades when everything turned upside-down, when I cannot hear any voices of him, when I cannot see the future that he has for me, when I cannot understand what plans he has for me, just trust in the waiting. Trust while waiting. Because when Jesus said in a little while, he was just preparing you but not leaving you nor punishing you. He is molding you; he is letting you to trust him more than anything. As you wait for his voice, God also wants to hear yours. Because after a little while, he will come back while telling you.
”His master replied, ‘well done good and faithful servant! You have been faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness.” – Matthew 25:23
You are lovely in his eyes, you are precious than rubies so don’t let your heart be troubled, ask and you will receive. God called you and choose you, you are set apart! So don’t harden yourself. God knows not only your potential but you are called because you turn to him and heard his calling. Be strong in the Lord!.
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