τέλος • (télos) n (genitive τέλεος or τέλους); third declension
completion, accomplishment, fulfillment, perfection, consummation
The Whoniverse is wide, and rich, and crazy.
And sometimes, bits of it go overlooked. There’s no way around it, we, at DoWntime, are children of the New Series. Our cultural sensibilities and our tastes in Who have been shaped by it. And of course, when we’re embarking in the big task of producing Discourse, we naturally tend to tackle recent events, controversies and stories. But that doesn’t mean the twenty-six seasons of Classic Who are undeserving of some in-depth coverage – and what better way to deliver said coverage than to watch it.
ALL of it. In order. Without skipping anything.
We’re looking for our telos, and it starts now.
EPISODE 1: “THE SLAVE TRADERS”
TIBERE: The new team, en route to new exciting adventures! Happy days.
SCRIBBLES: Well, happy apart from falling off a cliff in a wooden box.
TIBERE: That’s all you, getting hanged up on technicalities. Eh eh. “Hanged up”. Apt.
SCRIBBLES: Hung up. Grammar. Another technicality!
TIBERE: I’m sure you’re hung, dear, but that’s hardly relevant.
SCRIBBLES: Cutting from the ludicrous melodramatic peril of the TARDIS going over a cliff to the crew lounging about in a Roman villa is utterly wonderful.
TIBERE: It’s a very modern sense of editing, I find. Nicely cuts against the linearity a lot of later Who serials would showcase. I’ve got to say, though, while the efforts of the crew do show, I wouldn’t say that’s the best set they’ve gotten – I think the walls show a bit too much.
SCRIBBLES: That said, I think it’s a lovely choice here, getting to enjoy a bit of living in the past, rather than dealing with survival horror like the first season was so focussed on. It’s something utterly new for the show: that you can not just survive, but thrive out in the universe through time and space. I love particularly how they use that to show contrast with Vicki. She signed up for the survival horror and adventure Susan got, but instead gets the lounging about with a family unit that Susan wanted more of.
TIBERE: And the costuming department is on fire, it needs to be said. Barbara is rocking that domina set-up. She and Vicki make a perfect, and cute as hell, duo. We then cut to some pretty good worldbuilding scenes – the reconstitution work, while I can’t entirely assess its accuracy, is really pretty to look at. And Barabara using the occasion to give Vicki lessons about negotiation and the proper pronunciation of Latin names is precious – it showcases nicely her teacher side without bringing it front and center either. There’s a lot of subtle character interactions and development weaved into this, it’s really a pleasure. A nice palate-cleanser, considering the last historical we got was “The Reign of Terror”. I wonder if this is going to end up being about class struggles – there seems to be a lot of imagery linked to that, contrasting the clean, white-clad patricians with slave traders and that barbarian hidden in the bushes.
SCRIBBLES: Speaking of history, I love how Barbara describes in detail all the historical food they just had, and the Doctor just delights in the weirdness of ant’s eggs and flamingo tongues. They’re feeling quite distinctly like seasoned travelers now. Usually having to eat exotic weird foods is treated as one of the most sensationalist aspects of survival in foreign lands, but here, it’s just an easy little charming step. This really is a story the show could only do in its second series and with a bit of cast turnover.
TIBERE: They could have gotten weirder. I mean, the romans did love a good otter roasted in honey. Satyricon, biatches! But yeah, this is really lovely – and I love how they’re using the stylistic marks of the peplum, which was in its full swing at the time, a genre that could very often get preachy, dry and serious (or maybe that’s just me, I have beef against the classic Hollywood epics) to do a fun little character-driven romp.
SCRIBBLES: I would like some Peplum visuals right now, I must say…
TIBERE: I mean, who doesn’t love a man in a skirt? Barbara seems to enjoy Ian in a toga, at any rate. Gosh they’re cute. And you’ve got to admit, that’s a hot couple right here. Hair combing! So precious.
SCRIBBLES: I’m enjoying Barbara’s slightly exasperated sense of humor about having to do all the housework. Combing hair, designing dresses, cooking food, I get the sense she’s only interested at all in it because none of the others will and because at least she gets a sense of living in history.
TIBERE: “Oooooh boy, that was a mistake.” Isn’t she just great.
SCRIBBLES: Very, very great. And judging by how sweaty they look while lounging right now, pretty sure she and Ian just had sex.
TIBERE: I mean, that certainly looks like a pillow talk scene. Down to awkward, wine-imbued giggles. Random question – if the rules from “Fires of Pompeii” apply here, does Ian’s quoting of Cicero’s “O tempora, o mores” come out as German?
SCRIBBLES: Probably. And not only is it like that in a cliche pillow talk scene, we get the cliche horror movie attack during/post sex, lovers being assaulted.
TIBERE: They even have knives. It’s the attack of Jason Vorenus! Nah, that’s terrible. Flavius Krueger? Better. I’m going to go with that. Anyway, terrible coitus interruptus there. And then we get to see the Doctor mistaken for a harp player that is going to be escorted to Nero’s court. I’m sensing a very strong influence from Quo Vadis, the 1951 movie about Nero’s persecution of the Christians, there. We’ll see how their portrayals line up.
SCRIBBLES: Of course, everything here is through the lens of farcical adventure, which is wonderful. I love Vicki calling out that the Doctor doesn’t even know the name of the man he’s impersonating. What glorious absurdity!
TIBERE: I feel like there’s a nice continuity from the first season to here, too – like, the first season definitely had an overall theme of survival, and often placed the heroes in a position of authority within the civilization they ended up in (as followers of Marco Polo, an influential courtier of the Khan; or as living Gods among the Aztecs) – whereas here, in a second series that’s centered on political revolution and upheaval, you have a focus on the heroes experiencing the injustice themselves, and having to extricate from a situation of social and political inferiority.
SCRIBBLES: Overall, we’re getting a general stylistic and narrative evolution of the first season. Like I said, Vicki serves here as a juxtaposition between the survival horror and the thriving life in history. Here, well, the plots sort of diverge into the two of those, don’t they? We’ve got Barbara telling Ian about just how horrific and overpowering the Roman slave trade was as they get carried away, while Vicki and the Doctor stroll off imitating a lyre rockstar, with accompanying puns, to meet one notably nutty Cesar. Even the cliffhanger, the Doctor about to get assassinated, is played through a pretty comedic lens while the Doctor chuckles to himself, in contrast to the final scene with Ian and Barbara, a fairly straight and disturbing one of them being pulled apart by slave traders. It’s like two molds of the show held side by side in juxtaposition, and it’s quite wonderful.
EPISODE 2: “ALL ROADS LEAD TO ROME”
TIBERE: The Doctor literally defeating a swordsman by blocking a blade with his lyre. Talk about symbolism. Anyway, that’s a pretty amazing fight scene – hilarious, and the little comedic music does wonders. “The gentle art of fisticuffs” – god, Hartnell is amazing in this.
SCRIBBLES: Watching the Doctor enjoy this nonsense so much is really wonderful. A literal fight for his life is being played as a thrill. I guess that’s what Vicki wanted, though, isn’t it, and what makes her different from Susan. Susan was an orphan without roots who wanted to find a home. She was lost. Whereas Vicki is also an orphan, but one whose roots are among the stars, in the midst of epic adventure. Putting her into a romp through antiquity alongside the Doctor at his most sparkling really works wonderfully as a new statement for the show.
TIBERE: I do enjoy the miniature work here, but I’m not sure they need a giant ROMA in white letters to cross the screen … Anyway, these scenes in the slave prison are really good – there’s a real sense of pathos to them, that’s showcased especially well by that close-up of Barbara’s teary eyes just after she has taken care of an ill woman. Compare and contrast to the prison scenes in Spooner’s own “Reign of Terror”, which were perfunctory as hell and only served to confine some characters …
SCRIBBLES: And then we go to a man ordering a bunch of sweaty men to go “in! Out! In! Out!” All while holding a whip.
TIBERE: That’s definitely my aesthetic. Ian totally pulls off the badly-shaven look, too. Also, still an obvious influence of the peplums of the time – I’m reminded of Spartacus, and the scenes with Charlton Heston embarked on a similar, ahem, “leisure cruise”?
SCRIBBLES: Camp as this sequence is, there’s still definitely a palpable sense of danger. And a palpable sense of Peplum, like you say. This is an ambitious serial, isn’t it, with all that genre and tone juxtaposition? I quite admire that.
TIBERE: They do manage to sell the danger of the storm Ian gets caught in quite well, too. Some of the best use of insert shots we’ve seen in the show so far, and the lighting totally sells it. Also, insert joke about the in/out guy getting all wet.
SCRIBBLES: Absolutely some lovely stock footage of the stormy sea, combined with good direction, lighting, and sound work. Obviously they aren’t really at sea, but the sequence genuinely manages chaotic danger all the same. The camera even gets so badly shaken you can see some of the footage get screwed up for a moment!
TIBERE: Oh, god, the irony of the Doctor passing by the slave auction where Barbara is being sold … There’s a nice commentary here, I think. He’s a traveller that just passes through, a scientist that has fun, and sometimes also conveniently ignores the evils and violence of the civilization that surrounds him.
SCRIBBLES: God, Ian’s lucky to have survived that boat sinking, washing up on shore like that. And even then, the pain he’s going through to get out of those chains looks devastating. Again, what a contrast, the privileged Doctor versus the hell Ian and Barbara are going through. Speaking of, interesting how they use racial language to try to sell Barbara, as a hard-working British woman. It’s not really akin to modern racism, but it’s the closest the show can get with the all white sixties casting.
TIBERE: I mean, the ancient world didn’t have much of a concept of race. They saw the world as “Romans” and “non-Romans”, or “Greeks” and “non-Greeks”, basically – citizens and barbarians, barbarians being the ones that don’t speak the civilized tongue and don’t follow its customs. But still, you can kind of understand a form of racism derived from that, and one that Ian and Barbara are experimenting.
SCRIBBLES: God, the embarrassing way Nero steps into the frame is beautiful. Burping, yawning, and eating a chicken leg.
TIBERE: Yeah, they DEFINITELY took inspiration from Quo Vadis and Peter Ustinov’s portrayal of Nero there. It’s quite fun.
SCRIBBLES: And speaking of the Doctor and privilege, he and Vicki are doing a truly perfect job of sucking up to Nero, while he makes the most idiotic faces to grace the screen yet in this show. Magnificent.
TIBERE: Ian is trapped in the arena and discovers he’s about to fight … SOME KITTENS! KITTY KITTY KITTY! OOOOOH, WHO’S A GOOD BOY? YOU ARE! YOU ARE, FUZZY FUZZBALL! YOU AAAAAARE!
SCRIBBLES: Genre conventions, you just can’t tell a story about antiquity without using the arena. It’s in this. It’s in “Farewell, Great Macedon.” It’s in Tenth Doctor novel The Stone Rose. Some beats are just too iconic to avoid. But I question your friendliness with the lions.
TIBERE: They’re just big cats. And you know how I react to cats.
SCRIBBLES: Yes, like a man who’s about to get eaten by a lion.
EPISODE 3: “CONSPIRACY”
SCRIBBLES: The pacing on this serial is very efficient, I must say. Before the second episode has even ended, the characters are already all converging on the Nero plot. Barbara as a slave in the palace, the Doctor and Vicki as guests, and finally, Ian performing in the arena for the Cesar.
TIBERE: Eh, your choice of words is interesting – it’s fun to see how much of this serial is tied to the idea of performance. The way to live in that kind of hierarchical society is to provide entertainment, spectacle to the powerful – the Doctor does it through music, Ian by giving his own life facing the kittens of doom. God, “there’s a conspiracy, and for my safety I must get to the bottom of it” is such a Doctor-y line. The safest place is at the heart of danger, isn’t it? I would criticize the serial a bit for once again putting the threat of sexual violence against Barbara front and center, though. It’s understandable, given it’s a story about Nero, but she has been given a bit too many of these narratives, I think.
SCRIBBLES: And speaking of danger in safety, that’s exactly what Barbara gets. I mean, men buying and selling women is always an innately exploitative and sexual violation. Barbara was supposedly being sold off to the kindest possible master, and instead, it’s just a monster regarded better by society because of his power.
TIBERE: Also, just saying, but knowing Nero, the serial would work just as well with Ian instead of Barbara.
SCRIBBLES: I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to seeing Barbara in the arena. There’s some glorious cheek in this script, though, I must say, having all these plots cross-cut with near misses. I mean, the Doctor just laughs off Barbara being threatened with rape because he doesn’t see it’s her! It’s like the structure of “Partners in Crime” given a terrifying hard edge.
TIBERE: Oh, Nero’s constant cock-blocking by the whole of the TARDIS team is absolutely wonderful. And the direction is great, with all the characters entering and criss-crossing in that hallway. It kind of reminds me of that bit at the beginning of “Love and Monsters”’, you know, the one people always say is ridiculous.
SCRIBBLES: Certainly very Davies, be it that or the episode I mentioned. Very modern in general, for all the quite dated rape comedy.
TIBERE: Yeah, the bits about hearing Barbara’s screams through the door are … Yuck.
SCRIBBLES: The crossing of plots continues to be wonderful, with Ian meeting the woman Barbara helped previously. For all the loose and silly farce, this is a remarkably tight script. But yikes, the Doctor is living a privileged life, sleeping naked with Nero in the sauna! I guess Barbara isn’t the only one to catch Nero’s eye…
TIBERE: Wouldn’t that be a hamman, rather? You know, there’s steam. Saunas are like, dry and stuff.
SCRIBBLES: How the hell should I know? Anyway, pretty sure they just banged.
TIBERE: That’s a sex scene I do not want to imagine.
SCRIBBLES: One can only imagine what use they’d put lyres to.
TIBERE: Well, maybe they weren’t playing them with their fingers …
SCRIBBLES: Their fingers would have other long, cylindrical things to stroke… And here we go, plots criss-crossing wonderfully again, with Vicki listening in to the royal poisoner as she procures poison for Barbara on behalf of the jealous empress.
TIBERE: “Close your eyes and Nero will give you a big surprise.” Urgh. Yuck. Yuck. Yuckity yuck. Oh thanks god, it’s just a ring. The best gag in the story comes right after – Vicki saying “I think I poisoned Nero”, and the Doctor answering “Yes, yes … WHAT?!”
SCRIBBLES: God bless her.
TIBERE: The poisoner is a historically accurate character too. I remember reading about her in some book.
SCRIBBLES: The Doctor is truly wonderful in this, isn’t he? Hartnell is so fantastic as a trickster, and him not even playing the lyre, just faking it to make people feel good, is the perfect cliche trolling.
TIBERE: It’s just perfect. It’s totally The Emperor’s New Clothes – but dammit, he just absolutely nails it. What a wonderful performance.
SCRIBBLES: It’s Nero’s “He’s alright, but he’s not that good” that really sells the scene. God, the actor they’ve got for him is just wonderful at going all out on the scenery.
TIBERE: And once again, we cut from the comedic world of the palace to Ian in danger of death, being pitted against the only friend he made.
SCRIBBLES: It keeps escalating the criss-crossing plots, too. Ian in the arena while Barbara is at Nero’s side, listening to his plans to kill the Doctor! What a marvelously deft script.
TIBERE: I love how the genres are segregated in the space of the story, too – the world of the palace is one of comedy, the world of the arena one of horror. And the decisions and whims of the powerful, and the esteemed, that seem like nothing but a comical, farcical jest, end up having terrible, human consequences in the long run. It’s a surprisingly deep script.
SCRIBBLES: And here, still, the worlds get segregated. Barbara and Nero sit ever so raised in their little stage, above those human consequences. Of course, Barbara sees right through that divide, but it makes for spectacular drama.
EPISODE 4: “INFERNO”
SCRIBBLES: Inferno? Pertwee already?
TIBERE: Sadly, this serial doesn’t have any lava werewolves. I think. You gotta love the gladiator trying to take the fight to Nero himself, though – the barrier between the two worlds break with messy, wonderfully radical consequences. I do appreciate the shift in Nero’s performance, though – he is a lot more creepy, all of a sudden. And not just gross or disturbing – legitimately frightening: the direction even tricks you into believing he has killed Barbara, before revealing he just has pushed a sword in a soldier’s belly because “he didn’t fight hard enough”.
SCRIBBLES: I love how, meanwhile, we get Tavius slowly looking directly into the camera at all the royal nonsense going on, as the Empress tries to get him to get rid of Barbara. The reveal that the real lyre player was in league with Tavius to assassinate Nero is magnificent, incidentally. As is the Doctor goading Nero with lion puns to tease him that he knows about the plans for his execution.
TIBERE: God, Nero’s rant about feeding the Doctor to alligators is absolutely hilarious – and giving the emperor’s the idea of setting the town on fire because of a stupid coincidence is darkly hilarious, in a sort of Terry Pratchett way.
SCRIBBLES: “It is a good idea, isn’t it?” “Yes, very” God, what a glorious farce this is. Everyone sucking up to Nero brings them down in flames quite literally. Nero is truly one of the most fun to watch villains this show has yet had, honestly.
TIBERE: The themes of revolution this series have developed find a rather interesting counterpoint in Nero, I think – he wants to change the world too, to destroy a system, a town, and rebuild everything, but he does it for selfish reason, to allow the continuation of a hedonistic personality cult.
SCRIBBLES: Of course, it’s all warring sects of beliefs and ideals and such. The reveal that Tavius is a Christian is quite a great little moment, for example. And from there, we get to the magnificent sight of Vicki and the Doctor discussing the pleasures of witnessing and messing with history, in which she already makes more progress insisting on the ability to change it than Ian or Barbara did in their whole first season! What a magnificent bit of growth for the show.
TIBERE: The parallel between the Doctor and Nero’s unhinged laughs while watching the flames starts off pretty funny, due in large part to Hartnell’s great acting, and ends kind of disturbing. I do feel like this is one of the most critical and biting serials towards the Doctor we’ve had so far.
SCRIBBLES: Absolutely. And though she has had the least plot to do, positioning Vicki as a key observer to it all, I think, makes her key to a new mode for the show, particularly in how she accompanies and comments upon the Doctor’s plot. And from here, we get some adorable Ian and Barbara stuff, recycling the wonderful fridge gag and letting them piece together their disconnected plot threads, and finally the whole crew arrives home. After all the trauma Ian and Barbara have endured, Vicki and the Doctor are still laughing away their jolly romp.
TIBERE: “Oh, what youthful exuberance.” I chuckled.
SCRIBBLES: “It’s got a funny side to it, hasn’t it?” That’s a really nice way to wrap it up. Both in the farce and the tragedy, they choose to look on the humorous side of their adventure. That certainly quite sets the tone for the show going forward, doesn’t it?
TIBERE: Nice cliffhanger, too. I mean, it’s all rather conventional for the show, but still, I do love the way the editing frames it, cutting on Ian asking about the force that is dragging them down and the Doctor making a puzzled face in answer.
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