Anyone who has been reading Pleisure knows that my fall 2016 rope walkabout was rough. I called one scene because I was being mauled. A Canadian man I really liked, and who seemed to really like me, ghosted. Etc. So I decided to be more careful about who I play with by getting to know a rigger before scening. After a successful first coffee, a potential partner and I made a plan to play a few weeks later. This seemed like a distant event, so I suggested we have dinner sometime in the intervening weeks. His dinner conversation was deeply discouraging. He told me he’d read my Fet profile and couldn’t give me what I want. He told me that he hates the idea of doing anything and that he loathes leaving his house even though he always enjoys himself when he goes out. He didn’t take me up on either of my sexy conversational gambits. I listened to what he had to say and responded patiently, but he persisted, insisted “It’s not you, it’s me.” I was remarkably calm when I told him that I didn’t see myself playing with someone who dreaded the idea of it. “Anticipation, shared between me and my partner, is essential,” I said. “I want to play with someone who is excited about playing with me. I’m not going to come up with a cute outfit for person who might not even show up.” I told him I’d think it over. So there I was, seriously considering passing up a rare opportunity to play, and to bottom for the first time since December, and not feeling like it was the end of the world. I might not be able to do better, but I was glad I could say I want better.
The next morning I texted a friend: “Am I getting to know people in order to weed out the idiots, or in order to find out how idiotic they are and adjust my expectations accordingly?” Her answer was “Both?” I was heading out of town so I had five days to think about what I wanted to do. My potential partner found some enthusiasm in the meantime. At dinner I told him I’m curious about far more than what my profile specifies, and I named some of my fantasies. This hadn’t moved him. Telling him we probably shouldn’t play and I’d get back to him apparently warmed his feet. After I got back into town, I contacted him and suggested we keep the date but not actually scene. “Let’s just do some rope.” He is now sending upbeat texts that conclude with exclamation marks. My suggestion that we aim for discomfort and dishevelment elicited a smiley face. Now I am the one who is reserved. I have an outfit in mind, but it’s not cute: a long silky voluminous dress will challenge the rigger in him rather than put my body on display. And I’ve resolved to negotiate for a hands-off aftercare—no cuddling, no compliments, just conversation. About carabiners, perhaps.
Credits
O V H [aka Overhigh] .Agnes Coat . maitreya (at Versus; this is an amazing steal because it’s a pack featuring four colours—black, grey, white and olive green)
AZOURY – Suzon Headwear with fur&rhinestones Gold [Black]
Le Morte – Lock3d Faith – Black collar
fri. – Sugar.Platforms (Lilac) for Maitreya Lara
Ama. : Taken : Black [face tat: may have been retired or may still be on sale] (I love Ama.)
9 RARE -[TWC]- Blossom tattoo maitreya (recently past gacha; not taking this off ever)
-Glam Affair – Sia Artic tone – 02 G (just plain old)
{S0NG} :: Chibi~ Abyss Eye
mijn.botique accessories / studded earrings n.2 (not available)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
Marukin poses
[Kres], Kinky Neon Signs Gacha 10 [Obey] (at Kinky Monthly)
