Weird Crap Guys Say to Me #11.

The fact that I have eleven of these posts is really starting to make me worry about the future of this world.

Have you learned nothing!? NOTHING?!


The Gingerbread Man

Every once in a while, you decide to creep on someone’s Facebook and decide to give them an opportunity to save themselves from the image they have portrayed.


Sometimes the image really is reality and you just have to know when to run and hide.

About a week ago, I became friends on social media with a fellow who seemed pretty cool at first but something kept striking me as… odd. I didn’t really know how to put my finger on it at first but I eventually realized why.

Dude eventually warmed up and we were chatting back and forth but then I realized that there were too many things that alarmed me and I wasn’t physically attracted to him so I just slowed my answering to a zero.

Things he did that alarmed me:

  • Talked about his ex kicking him out and saying it wasn’t his fault.
  • Aired all of his dirty laundry to me within a week of him and I chatting minimally back and forth.
  • Continuously commented on how I was out of his league.
  • His nerd streak was way higher than mine (which I thought was pretty high but apparently I am not a nerd… for shame).
  • Wanted to talk to me at all hours and would get offended if I didn’t respond within five minutes of his message being sent to me.
  • So eventually I was like ‘hm, no.’

    I tried to be nice and polite about all of this but then he started getting aggravated with me.

    He asked me to go grab a drink with him this coming Saturday and I was like ‘ah, gee, I don’t really know. I’m not feeling well.’ (Which in truth- I am currently sick so it really was not a lie but I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of me traveling forty-five minutes away to grab a drink with a strange man who was unpacking all of his crap at my doorstep before he even range the doorbell [it’s a metaphor])

    He immediately took that to heart and then said (copied and pasted):

    “I know you said we’ll see, I’m just saying that I’m not putting all my eggs in that basket at this point.”

    …What the hell? When the hell did I even give you a basket to start putting eggs in? And furthermore, sir, you were never given a basket to put eggs in as I never alluded to the fact that I was even interested in starting a relationship as I constantly said ‘I am way better off by myself’ which, if you didn’t get the memo, MEANS I WOULD RATHER BE SINGLE THAN DATE YOU AND YOUR LONG BEARD. (Side note- if someone could step by step explain how to kiss someone with a beard, I am interested in reading this in case of future instances).

    I then began ignoring his messages that her persisted to send to me.

    Finally, after the fifth message, I responded and told him that I wasn’t a fan of what he had said to me and ‘good luck on [his] future endeavors’.

    Welp. He went a bit coo-coo.

    He then began rapid fire messaging me back.

    I unfriended him and thought ‘okay, if he doesn’t get this hint, I really don’t know else what I could say.’



    He then sent me two message requests following that to which I had to ignore and block.

    Done yet?


    He then shot me multiple text messages.

    Number blocked.

    And to be on the safe side- I blocked his Snapchat as well.

    I’m not sure how people think that this sort of behavior is conducive or even remotely okay. It’s creepy and borderline psychotic.

    So if you’re reading this- which I am sure you are considering you’ve stalked my life today:


    You’re weird, your beard is weird, and I don’t like you!

    (Side note-I told my friends this story as it was happening and they took ‘ginger beard’ for ‘ginger bread’ so you’re now the gingerbread man, mofo. Go home.)



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