I don’t know if others tend to feel this way or if it’s just me… but sometimes I miss having certain people in my life, although it’s very rare this happens to a person like me. I’ll think about them for a split second, and before I flick them out of my head, I’ll say to myself, “Maybe I should hit them up.” Then my stubbornness kicks in and I always reconsider.
I’m so stubborn that it’s actually pretty sad – haha. I’m not going to sit here and act like I’m this innocent human being, because I’m not. If you’ve read my recent posts, then you know I have no problem letting others go, but sometimes I think about certain people (not all) and I wonder, if I I’d ever hit them up on an apologetic note, would they understand and feel the same. That’s what always pushes my stubbornness to the highest power; I imagine that person not caring so in return I make myself not care, just to be safe.
I honestly don’t feel like I’m the reason we stopped talking, they obviously did something that I didn’t like, which in return caused me to lash out by no longer speaking to them. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this way, but this morning I kept thinking about how someone and I who I was really close to are no longer cool — it’s been 10 months now. And honestly, I know we’re not going to be cool again, because he can’t get in touch with me, due to being blocked on all of social media even if he tried, which I’m sure he hasn’t. I’m not going to unblock him and I’m too stubborn to unblock him via phone number and hit him up, so at this point, the thought of that relationship has ran it’s course.
I will admit for the first time to you all that, I do miss him and wish we were still friends, but things are what they are – haha. I can now kill the thought of us ever becoming cool again and just continue on with my life. Although, it’s still going to take me a while to be able to look at old pictures and videos I have of us in my phone. You guys be blessed, and my apologies for not posting in almost a week — I’m dealing with some financial struggles right now.
In all love,
Ciano
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