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The Neurobiology Of "We" (2008)

by Daniel J. Siegel(Favorite Author)
4.28 of 5 Votes: 1
159179949X (ISBN13: 9781591799498)
Sounds True
review 1: I am really impressed with the trinity model Siegel proposes. Relationships - the process by which we share our energy and information, Brain- The mechanism used to share energy and information, Mind- The regulatory control for Brain. Also Siegel provides valid argument for how early relationship between child and its parent or parents play a crucial role in the development psychology of the Child’s brain and its future. An Excellent point is the case of an adult who had dissociative relationship during his childhood with his mother developed a brain, with its left hemisphere which is responsible for social skills and communication is not in sync with its right hemisphere which generates ideas from memories. Siegel also gives a brief but make sense explanation about neu... moreral circuitry for empathy based on mirror neurons and information flow and the nine fold path he provides for better integration of the mind’s domains to create a better holistic we through our relationships is very sensible.This book is an excellent work on how our relationships shape our mind and how empathy and compassion between us creates new neural pathways for integration in the brain to create a better sense of ‘we’.In short a highly recommend read for any parent or couple and anyone how wants to build better social wellbeing.
review 2: This is a super awesome audiobook. It makes sense to tell the story of how I got to reading this book, where I really came from, so that you might have some sense of whether or not the book would speak to you in a similar way it did to me, at the point you stand in your life today. Daniel Siegel's work is almost easier to listen to than it is to read, in my very humble opinion, because his calming energy communicates the ideas that he's speaking in a more energetic sort of way. The thing about Neurobiology of We, like Mindsight (which I also listened to but haven't read), is that there is quite a bit of detail. This isn't a complaint, its just a fact that needs to be accepted if you feel the need to delve into this kind of work. I listened to Mindsight earlier this year, by mistake. Looking at my audible.com history, I bought the book on March 10, 2012, thinking "Wow this sounds interesting." I was very into reading personal development books, but hadn't really hit a lot of the therapy type books. The book happened to be on some special for $5 and I bought a bunch of books at the $5 special. I started listening to it and...it made no sense. There was apparently no "unique selling point" to his story, it didn't catch my interest, I just remember lots of neuroscience mumbo jumbo, I had way too short of an attention span. So I put it away for close to a year. And a year later, I remember wanting to challenge myself. I remembered Mindsight being a challenging book. The year was 2013, and I was taking a short break from work, work and life in general had been stressing me out, so I quit my job, sold my stuff, and moved in with my parents for a short while, at the old age of 28 (that turned into about 6 months). My goal for getting through the book was to actually UNDERSTAND the ideas the guy was talking about. This wasn't going to be a book I listened to while falling asleep. I set the timer to play 8 minutes at a time (cool feature on audible iPhone app I guess). At the end of every 8 minutes, I asked myself "what are 3 things I talked about?" If I couldn't answer, I'd give it another listen. Ironically, I was *just* getting into being a chronic meditator in 2013. And the degree to which I can focus on someone else speaking is a skill that is similar to focusing on my breathe in meditation. Don't get distracted. Consciously direct your attention. And then ironically a big idea in this book was that mindfulness and meditation actually "repairs" parts of your brain. And a lot of my brain had been...in a state of disrepair, stemming from my childhood. I'd never have thought. So, Mindsight basically sold me on therapy, which I started in August 2013. Its been...great. Lots of challenges I've faced, internally so far this year. Anyways, I went through Neurobiology of We more recently (finished just a few days ago on December 13th, 2013). This audiobook is really similar to Mindsight in concepts. He speaks about a state called Integration, when different parts of your brain work together properly. A common example is that many people are unaware of their body. For example you might walk around being very tense, and not realize it. (Of course other people "see" this clearly in you, or more accurately "feel" it.) You might have had some uncomfortable experiences growing up that led you to holding similar worldviews that are no longer useful as an adult. This book is for...I would say, everyone. Well, at least everyone who is a human. Its a book about being more fully human. His main area for beginning is that our experience consists of looking at our brain, our mind, and our relationships. Each of these 3 things affects each other. For example, what is a relationship, really? In your mind you have a concept of another person. You can change your brain in a relationship (which is what therapy is really all about, and as a "being an adult" person I can absolutely start to see that). This brain-mind-relationship idea is a big one for me. Another one is "attachment styles." Youtube a video on "strange situation" to learn a bit about this experiment, and you will see that if you didn't grow up with a "secure attachment style" you can change this in therapy (with the "right" kind of therapist). If you don't have secure attachment, you'll walk through life with emotional problems of different types. Depression, anxiety, avoiding making decisions, avoiding certain social situations, etc. Some people like to say "Well I'm just nervous in so and so situations." That's fine. Does that mean you then AVOID the situations, or do you face them? That's a core idea to me, from the book. This book is amazing because, well, this one plus Mindsight, they changed my perspective quite a bit. As a software engineer learning about and spending time and energy on (1) business and customers and products and how to eventually start a business and (2) dating, women, and sex -- I learned that more core and fundamental was really understanding myself as a human and addressing my childhood wounds. (I wasn't beaten or raped or anything, and I always THOUGHT my childhood was "normal" which to me meant I was fine...and over the past few years I've realized WHOA I'm not crazy...they were! But then that made me "crazy" but repairably so...) I had thought the highest leverage area I could learn about was business (its still a high leverage thing I plan to pursue after I feel good about my emotional work with my therapist and all this reading and stuff.) And now, from Siegel's ideas, I realize that the biggest area for growth for me was this emotional work and understanding my brain. But not understanding it from like BOOK SMARTS, but more so from LIFE EXPERIENCE SMARTS, making sense of my experience of life. Read this book. I imagine you, as a human being, will benefit greatly from it. See, I personally used to be incapable of having connection with other human beings. Now I am starting to really be able to connect to others. (And I didn't even KNOW that I didn't connect to others!) Some days are great and some are totally a jumbly mess of uncomfortable emotions. And in some sense I didn't CHOOSE to come here, I was FORCED (through my period of "high stress" which was't really the stress's fault it was the fact that my brain and body and nervous system stopped being able the "relatively normal level of stress" I was experiencing in life at the time). So I understand if you wouldn't go out of your way to read it but...if you are reading this review, then that means you're probably in the right spot to check it out. less
Reviews (see all)
Listening to this on CD. Wow. Figured out a few things about myself.
I love everything by Daniel Siegel.
Valuable but dense.
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