Catching Falling Petals


She does not look the same to you or others. You might, she’s not pretty, lovely or even cute. And me either! But every time I see her it’s beautiful that comes on my mind. 

Where did we meet, you ask? Well, she haven’t. I’m like a filler character behind her friends and people she knows. Thankfully she knows I exist but I’m just a passerby. Maybe forever.

I do not know what it is I have gotten, chasing around this lady. It’s like the moment I saw her my soul ran towards her and stitched a thread. Distance and her absence breaks the thread but every moment I see her, my soul repeats the process. Nights and daydreams strengthen the desire to pursue her. And reality knocks me down.

Sure, she feels like a part of me. Like she is the one, a soulmate perhaps. And maybe she is, just not at the same timeline. Or she is not. I am playing a part hence I do not what the writer has in mind. Could He be asleep, forgot the next chapter, or rewriting our story?

Yes, she does not look the same to you or others like I do. Or maybe somebody else has more words than I have. And maybe, all I’ll ever do is sit still. But the universe has taught me some words– words that perfectly describe my incompetence. For I have realised:

She is the air I cannot grab;

I can only feel her.

She is the raging fire that burns me,

but she is also the ocean that heals me.

She’s the earth on which I firmly stand.

Yet why am I not with her? Because her love is too deep for a weak heart like mine; too deep that I’ve drown within it, drunk unless she resuscitate me or, I continue living like that. And the latter seems to be the answer.

We are from two different worlds. She and I, we’re strangers. We always were, from the beginning we knew each other to the end. And somehow, somewhere the universe decided our paths to cross. So I looked up and let a sad laugh. I smile but the curve reversed. I listen to the sounds around me but there is none to hear mine. The lights from the buildings illuminates the place but blinds my eyes.

Nothing happened, maybe that’s why my soul has regrets I never know of.  Maybe I was slowly growing feelings for her. Maybe…

Funny how I never know when I’ll ever be seeing her again. But it has always been that way. Love never seemed to settle within me. I am the sole observer that gets left behind, immersed in gathering the pieces of past. I am a liker, not a lover~


This is from an old Wattpad account I wrote under the username suku_pani6i6.

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