A beautiful door in France. Like this would be the door used in my mind that people enter & exit through. I’m in love with the fusion of purple & blue.
Now Playing: “Lying Has To Stop” – Soft Hair
I hate making a big deal about the way people are & how they are toward me. But I keep doing it anyway. The last 2 friends I lost had just stopped talking to me for no reason. I think that’s fucking cowardly. That leaves me wondering if I did something wrong, and dammit, I want to know what exactly so I don’t lose more friends.
But no…they were just assholes/lessons learned. I feel like there are two types of people that come into your life (there are more types but I’m not writing a book here) — there’s the person who actually wants to be there for you, they cherish you as a person. The other is, well, a leech. Or as I like to colorfully put it, a f*cking DEMENTOR. You know, those scary ghostly looking things in Harry Potter that suck the energies & souls out of people. I get a lot of dementors that aren’t just customers at work. These people claim to be your friend and they may consciously or even unconsciously hurt you. And when they don’t realize they have hurt you, they don’t even say sorry. They try to justify their act of treason by trying to appear innocent. I’m talking, going to great lengths.
But I digress…
Back to the 2 jerks I was previously talking about. They, of course, are dementors. Just taking what they need and being on their way. The first one was someone from the past, in a way. We went to high school together. I liked him for like a week or 2 but he always had a girlfriend so I didn’t bother talk to him. We randomly started talking but as I ever-so-timely realize, he just wanted me sexually. When I didn’t give him what he wanted, he suddenly deleted me off everything and ignored my texts. So…that was nice to wake up to.
The other one was someone I thought would be different. I fell victim to his good guy charm. Normally I’d say we “went somewhere” but we didn’t go anywhere. It was all sexual. I noticed a change when I wanted to have a regular conversation with him & he always took it to a sexual place. Anyway, one day it was like ‘Surprise! I haven’t been talking to you much because I found someone I like more than you. Oh & she has 3 kids, I think I love her‘…well it was more candy-coated than that, obviously. Couple months later, he picked up & left. Moved to another state to be with her. He gave me some heartfelt bullshit about how he can’t thank me enough for allowing him to be himself, for helping him find his true self. Now here we are, my texts are being ignored & I’m unfriended on Facebook.
Moments like those really make me question if I’m a human being or a receptacle! Whatever, screw them. They can walk out the door and stay out.
x
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