Can male and females just be friends?
I was naive’ enough to believe once that men and women can just be friends without one person eventually catching very strong feelings. Recently, I’ve become aware of a very common phenomenon that test the authenticity of male/female friendships.
Fake Friending
Is a very common phenomenon where either a male or female who has romantic feelings agrees to just be friends. The beginning of a dysfunctional relationship begins because one friend is pretending that they’re not madly in love with the other. Therefore, the friendship is a fraud.
I consider myself a pretty deep thinker but somehow I disregarded the fact that friendship is the strongest form of love. In fact, my parents are coming up on their 56th wedding anniversary and the glue that has kept them together is their strong friendship.
Today, society has us believing that in order to fall in love with another person, sex must be involved. Of course, that’s not always true, especially considering that many men who become friends with women do so because the women is not interested in a relationship.
The friendship is a way for the male to still keep one foot in the door in hopes that the female changes her mind. The male usually goes out of his way to get out of the friend zone by trying to impress the female by being there for her when she needs him, buying her expensive gifts, loaning her money and always lending an ear when she needs to vent.
The female then lowers her defenses and spends more time with her male friend believing that his friendship is genuine and there’s no motive behind it.
The female may slip on one night while hanging out with her male friend, drinking and partying and human biology takes over and they have accidental, drunk sex.
The male friend will automatically assume after the accidental act of sex that he is now in a relationship with the female. He will become clingy, call her his girlfriend and will want to be around her 24/7.
The female will get annoyed and eventually tell the pestering, fake male friend, who had a hidden agenda all along that she only wants to be friends and she’s sorry about what happened.
The male friend won’t understand or he’ll act as if he does for a few weeks until his rage, jealousy and delusion takes over him.
At that point, the female will come to the conclusion that her male friend wants to be more then just friends and it’s best to cut the entire relationship off.
Personally, I’ve had to break up with male friends. They didn’t take it very well. I believe it is out of narcissism and delusion that indicate a severe personality disorder that makes a platonic friend pursue someone who clearly indicates repeatedly that they are not romantically interested.
The Obsessed Male Friend Plays it Cool but They use Generosity to Mask their ill will.
True kindness comes from the heart. Not the ego. The male friend who is generous with hidden strings attached is the beta male who does not have the courage to admit to himself that the rejection he is experiencing from his idolized love interest is real.
He ignores reality and lives in denial and pursues a fantasy in his head he has with you. Unfortunately, when you cut him off because he won’t just be your friend, he will stalk you.
The illusion of you being his girlfriend will remain a constant, obsessive, fantasy that he’ll cling to. He may call you from blocked numbers, slash your tires, follow you in his friends cars, set up fake social media accounts to spy on you. He may go as far as trying to sue you in court for all the gifts he’s given you as a friend.
Some women can end up hurt or even killed by obsessed platonic friends.
Every women should strongly consider being friends with a male that is attracted to them because he may be using the friendship to pursue a delusional relationship with her that can potentially turn dangerous.
I always strongly advise against being friends with men who women have had flings with or even long-term relationships with. I personally only prefer friendships with homosexual men based on the drama I experience with male friends in the past who have fallen in love with me.
Unrequited love hurts.
Some men can’t handle rejection. I’ve heard horror stories of some women even being raped by their so-called male friends. Predators pretend to be understanding, helpful angels disguise but that is all an act just to lower the victims defenses. Once you let them in, they won’t let go.
How to Protect Yourself
Set up surveillance.
I found an inexpensive car monitoring devices/video cameras to protect my vehicle. The first thing a psycho stalker will do is tamper with your car.
Purchase a highly sensitive car alarm. It’s worth the investment. It will call your phone as well when your vehicle is even grazed by a bystander it will go off very loud and obnoxiously.
95% of victims know their stalkers. Most are disgruntled friend zoned men, rejected men, and ex-boyfriends that have mental disorders.
Alert your neighbors.
I put a sign up on my apartments bulletin board advising all residents to look out for a vandalizer. I put a picture of him along with the make, model and plate number of his vehicle on the flyer along with my email address. I asked if anyone seen this person to call 911 immediately.
I always make your neighbors aware of what is going on despite your fears of being looked down upon by them. There is no need to feel embarrassed. People are usually very alert and willing to listen to their neighbors when it comes to possible crime and vandalism.
Take pictures and file police reports.
Regardless of how little damage they did to your car or other property take pictures and report it to the police immediately.
Get a restraining order.
If you don’t act fast, they will continue to level up on the stalking techniques. Try your best to get a free restraining order. However, if you have to pay for it, It’s worth it in the end especially if you have a child to protect. Eventually, the stalker will understand you are quick to act and establish strict boundaries.
21% of stalking victims end up getting hurt or even killed by their stalkers. This is not a game. Ladies be careful out there and act swiftly and accordingly.
By Janell Hihi @copyright@2017
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